I Remember New Years

May 11, 2017
By , Oswego, IL

Like a great white, you circled the room
Predator choosing its prey
Your eyes - I don’t remember the color - locked on me
I never had a say.

If I had known how the night would turn out
I would have refused to go in.
Blurry eyes, clumsy feet, babbling incoherency -
and still I was chosen.

I see visions of your face in my mind
Ripped at the seams.
I don’t know your face: the planes, the cracks, the lines
But every night you still creep into my dreams.

You think I don’t remember, that I was too far gone
But the glimpse before the darkness gave me all I needed to know
All of them saw him drag me out of the crowd
And all of them let me go.

My friend says there’s another party, down at the lake house too
She says it’s your birthday, asks if I remember you
She’ll never know how those words froze my entire body
I laugh maybe a little too loud, and make up a lame excuse.

I remember New Years, just enough of it.
When I came down partygoers filled me in, told me what they knew
The high I felt was gone, the blissful darkness shattered
I remember New Years, and I know that you do too.

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