I understand that humans can be indecisive on what they want, but while you try and figure it out don't toy with someone who knows what they want. Be 100 with them and just say it upfront. There is no need to try and make excuses when you could've been real from the jump. That's all i ever asked for and, look at where we're at now... Just a couple of people who wanted to have time with memories,and now we're strangers with memories that no longer associate with each other. Sad isn't it? Always hoping and wishin' that you can find someone to relate with, that you can vibe and trust information with you may have never told anyone else. Us females open up like a book to someone to tell our backstory on why we're the person that we are today. Males have to come along and act like they care and tell us these lies and other non-sense, for info just for them to delight our ears so they can get what they want. Guys seem to stay for as long as they can, just to get as much as they can from us. SEX! Our bodies are like flowers that are still blooming with self-love; that's how it's supposed to be, but before we can love anyone else we must love our self to know the actual meaning behind the 'L' word that gets tossed around like its nothing. Boys have the audacity to stay as long as we can give to them, but what the main question is 'what can they supply to us?' Our bodies, our money, our time, and emotions; Nearly our future if we genuinely fell for this person. When it's all said and done what are the girls left with? PAIN and wasted time. The irony within this that it is a never ending cycle; Good guys get treated poorly by bad girls and end up releasing all their bottled up emotions resulting in hurting the good girls. While on the other hand, good girls end up getting mentally, emotionally and physically hurt by the bad guys deriving into becoming a paradox. I let my walls down for this person, and would never want to open up to the wrong person again. To make sure of this, you build a defensive panel of walls higher; Higher where its unobtainable to get remotely close to knowing anything deep about you because, you're afraid of feeling and opening yourself up once again. Let alone, to the wrong person; You'll never know until the damage is done and all that is left is for you is regret. The taller the walls you desire to defend yourself so deeply you don't know how to react to the good/bad anymore. This cycle needs to end, but knowing the cruel place we live in, Earth that's never going to happen. You are in search of finding someone who has the same intentions, mindset, and perspective to have a common interest. Having a deep and serious conversation doesn't just appear, you have to search for the complexity within the simplicity to find a 'real' person. You can conversate with anyone and end up getting bored. A genuine conversation is where it feels like it last forever because, it challenges you and your intellectual perspective on things and why you view them the way you do. We as people are all flowers in this stormy weather oppressing when its time for us to express our true self's in any hour. Who is going to appreciate our delicacy besides thyself in self-love in our darkest state of mind?
April 30, 2017