Skin Deep

I've been attempting to transfer my thoughts onto paper but the page has remained empty.

Although one thing, is undeniably certain: You are gone.

And when you carried yourself out my back door that dreadful mid-March day, you left behind only a partial person- An empty shell lacking any sort of human emotion.

And when you packed up your belongings and placed them in your trunk, you took with them some distant memories- Of us going out for Chinese, lying beside each other in bed, allowing our bare skin to graze, and taking unfamiliar roads through the dense summer breeze.

But when you left that afternoon, it all seemed to vanish with your existence. Now, my bed lay unoccupied, my palm empty, and my heart uninhabited. The only indication of your presence left behind are the scars that riddle my body.

I am the debris after a hurricane.

The ruins of an ancient civilization.

A flower bitten by your frost.

And though some may say that these metaphors paint a vivid mural, I cannot help but to disagree. For no matter the words I am able to produce on my notepad, I will never be able to describe this feeling in it's entirety.

And that night when I drove out to see your beautiful face once more and things transpired as they did, I sat in that parking lot for a while as my brain tried to wrap around and process the idea that I had to erase you from its hard drive. But while it was dragging your files to the recycle bin, there was a systematic error and it crashed.

I tried to rid you from within me, but my veins contained the roots of your love. I dug at them, but they had already embedded deep in my thoracic cavity, entangling themselves around my rib cage. I separated the torn flesh, striving to remove the strings of my heart, but when I got caught on one of your vines, the whole structure collapsed.

I waited for your car to reappear before me, but it never met my desperate eyes. Instead, I was greeted by Darkness, who beckoned me to join her beneath the Earth's crust. I hesitated to answer her immediately, allowing myself to ponder the sudden invitation. Ultimately, I denied. The only thing inside me lively enough to reject her, was you. She crept down my throat and went for your neck; You both fought to consume me, but neither of you were victorious.

Before driving home, I extracted you both simultaneously, leaving you to disintegrate into the pavement. My eyes glanced back through the rear view mirror; You both stood there, side by side, unmoving.

I continued on, forever leaving you and Darkness far behind me.






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