I know nobody’s perfect.
I know I remind myself daily.
I know if I didn’t,
I wouldn’t be able to forgive.

It’s called a “work retreat”.
It’s called losing your job.
It’s called not telling your kids.
It’s called sadness.

It was because your back hurt.
It was because it was too hard.
It was because it was too much.
It was because you stole medicine.

It’s called a problem.
It’s called addiction.
It’s called a hard life.
It’s called something you thought you already knew about.

What you didn’t know is that my mother has addiction.
What you didn’t know is that she was just fired.
What you didn’t know is that it hurts her.
What you didn’t know is that it hurts me too.

Life is harder on her.
Life is harder on her friends.
Life is harder on her family.
Life is harder on me.

You think you know how it feels.

You think you can make me feel better.
You think you can make it all go away.
You think you can just wave your magic wand,
and I won’t have any more pain.

But I know there is no way out.
I know you can’t make it go away.
I know I will always feel this pain.
I know you are just like all the rest.

There is no such thing as magic.
There is no such thing as perfect.
There is no such thing as this all going away.
There is no such thing as her addiction disappearing.

She tries her best.
She isn’t perfect.
She has her flaws.
She has a disease.
She is an addict.
She is an alcoholic.
She is a drug user.
She is my mom.

I am not lucky.
I am not special.
I am not you.
I am not that different.

I am under different circumstances.
I am under stress.
I am under pressure.

But more than anything,
I am just me.