A Simple Recipe on how to Fail Your Classes

April 18, 2017
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A lifetime full of procrastination
A heap of lost sleep
A pocketful of unnecessary priorities
A box of bad attitude
An inch of rudeness
An ocean full of ignorance
A pinch of not paying attention
An empire of friends distracting you
A single class enrolled in by your parents


First you should enroll in classes (you can’t fail a class if you were never enrolled)
The night before every class make sure you get a heap of lost sleep in your system, this will give you that extra boost of energy in the morning, just kidding

Next, sit next to an empire of friends that will distract you. This will give you a great start by having distractions surrounding you.

After you’ve located all of your distractions, use them to their greatest capabilities and apply a pinch of not paying attention in class. This step is very important!

Once you are settled in class, make sure you take out your pocket full of unnecessary priorities, so you pay attention even less.

When the teacher calls on you, don’t answer the question and give them an ocean full of ignorance, so they hate you more than they already do. It is also very important you add a box of bad attitude so the ingredients mix well together.

After school you will get a ton of homework. Once this happens add a lifetime of procrastination. Then you won’t have to do any more work than you have to!

Lastly, when your teacher confronts you about failing their class add your final ingredient, an inch of rudeness. This will teach the teachers that you don’t care and you are only here because your parents made you.

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