I Tried To Be Okay

April 3, 2017

I tried to be okay

But nothing will ever be the same

I tried to save myself

But all I'm left with is pain


I tried to talk about my problems

But my tongue turned to lead

I tried to let my feelings out

But they're eating me instead


I tried to escape my thoughts

I thought I had the key

Imprisoned in my mind

When will I be free?


I try and try and try

I fail 10 out of 10

When will I be free 

To finally live again?


I try to find myself

Who am I supposed to be?

These questions weigh me down

When will I be free?


I ask why this is happening

Of all people, why me?

It's not fair, I don't get it

So much I could've turned out to be


I ask when this'll be over

I just want the pain to end

Not sure if I've broke yet

But I'm sure as hell bent


I ask whoever's out there

To break me with sticks and stones

Instead of having these words bombard me

Hurting and burning and stinging my soul


I ask what I ahve to do

To finally feel again

To stop being so cold

And let the light in


I look in the mirror

I don't recognize what I see

She looks like a stranger

I can't believe she's me


Dead eyes

Pale skin

Scarred body

Bones thin


Lonely and fragile

Doesn't let anyone in

Hides from the world

Scared of affection


Puts on a mask 

When anyone's around

They can never know

She's not safe and sound


Build up 8 thousand walls

8 thousand problems no one can solve

8 thousand secrets she tries to hide

8 thousand nights stayed up and cried


Lonely and broken

But nobody knows

A life of pain:

It's hers, she chose


Torn apart

By her own hand


That's the question she doesn't understand


Feels liek a monster

But she can't explain it

These thoughts in my head

But I don't know how to face it


I've lost all hope

Of being human

Even in my family

I still don't fit in


Wandering through this hell

A hell we call "life"

My head's too f***ed up

I can't tell wrong from right


I tried to fix myself

But I'm gone beyond repair

I tried to let people in

But nobody cares


I tried to be okay

I'll never be okay

I cried out to anybody

Somebody save me

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