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My Own Rules
I don’t want
To live by anybody’s rules
I don’t want to just be,
Waiting for something to happen.
For the glass to break
For our fragile world to shatter.
I want to sit in empty cafes
And on hotel balconies.
Tense because life,
But free.
I want to ride
In an autopilot plane.
No one else there
Above the clouds
All alone
Seeing life from the sky.
Cities and buildings and cars,
Beautiful acoustic music resonating through the plane
As I see all the separate lives
That are now so intertwined.
I don’t want
To live by anybody’s rules.
I want to smash glass
Break windows
And phones
Scream
Tear up books
Then tape them back together
I want to rip clothes
Throw my makeup out the window
Let it fly like a bird;
Giving the bird to society
See if I care
I don’t care.
I want to not care.
I don’t want
To live by anybody else’s rules
I want to live by my own rules.
But I don’t know how to write them.
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Sometimes I feel trapped. I feel like Earth is ridiculously small and that I'm suffocating in this cramped atmosphere. I feel stifled by all the social courtesies and unsaid rules we have to follow. It's common sense not to smash your phone, but that's the exact reason I want to. It would be like a breath of fresh air. Freedom from this small planet where you have to paint your face and cover your body with fabric to look socially acceptable. A broken rule. That's what I was trying to capture in this poem. Freedom and rules and life.