I'm in an odd spot.

I feel very alone, but I'm not lonely.

I crave affection, but can't show it.

I thought a fuller romantic life would satisfy me, but so far, nothing. I was asked out by a beautiful girl, but it doesn't really fill any emptiness I feel. Maybe I'm just a deviant, a sex addict, no that can't be it.

I think my imagination's too active, the only satisfaction I seem to get is imagining my future, but that destroys the present.

Also, this little story I'm writing, that makes me happy.

I'm needy and jealous, unfaithful and conniving.

I try to own people, make them mine, I'm deprived.

I'm too sensitive.

I was almost a w****.

I wish I was better looking, I'm not ugly, but plain.

I wish I was thinner, a handful or two less.

But, most of all, I wish I was kinder. I wish people would look forward to seeing me, I wish I made people feel happy and confident. But alas, that's not me. I'm just another person no one will remember, or regret forgetting.

God, when will I stop being a teenager?