Taking L's

March 22, 2017
By , Miami, FL
I have been cursed.
I don’t know how, and I don’t know when,
but I have been blessed with the almighty presence of L’s.
Every morning I wake up to a specific hand gesture,
which leads to a burning sensation on my neck.
And every night, on social media, I get 1 like…
From myself…
I have been cursed with L’s.
Still don’t understand?
Let me lay it down for you:
I have been a lucky lad to have been blessed with this luxury.
A lovely hex that causes me to lose everything at light-speed.
I’m not lying when I say my life has been left behind in the land of the lady-less.
(I’m looking at you Lucy, why did you leave me?)
And even though I walk this lonely road, my days aren’t green,
but instead they’re a shade of lapis lazuli.
Everywhere I go I am haunted by L’s.
I once had lunch in Los Angeles,
only to have my liquids stolen.
(Due to the lack of water, all of the locals have gone loco).
And don’t get me started on going to places like London, Fort Lauderdale, or even the Statue of
And just when I think I’m safe next to a uppercase l,
I’m quickly fooled into realizing that it was a lowercase, L, all along.
And as a musician, my luck couldn’t be more nonexistent.
This curse, has made it impossible to create even a lullaby,
because I am unable write simple ledger lines!
And my taste has been poorly affected as well.
My favorite band? Led Zeppelin.
Favorite brand of drums? Ludwig.
And should I even dare to say my favorite guitar is a Les Paul?
It’s not like it matters, I wouldn't be able to play the lead rhythm to a song.
And since we’re still on the topic of favorites,
Here’s a list of some other things I like:
Favorite show? Last Man on Earth.
Favorite Actor? Leonardo Dicaprio.
Favorite Game? The Legend of Zelda.
It’s almost as if my whole life is surrounded by L’s.
Damn it.
I just wish I could live by the “living like larry” quote,
But it seems I’m gonna have to be living like a loser.
Because of ALL MY L’s!
I swear I’m like that kid Linus from Sharkboy and Lavagirl!
Would it be surprising if the next day, I started wearing a shirt with a giant L on my chest!?
I’m sorry for my loquaciousness.
It’s just that I have a lexicon filled with a lexis of of lyrics,
Ready to unleash a series of words into in the english language.
It’s as if I took laxatives for speaking,
and words like: Lactose, and lackey, and laser, just keep pouring out.
It makes me laugh, knowing I have an unlimited supply of L’s!
Lol! Lmao! Rotfl!
And the only way for me to lose this leading position in this collection,
is if I get lazy and stop lamenting on my losses,
or if I somehow hit a logjam! Hahaha!
Uh… which unfortunately… has just happened.
You can say I took an L right there...

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