I loved sandwiches

I remember making sandwiches for various wild people

Anytime we had someone steady bumming on our couch

I liked sandwiches because they were one of the few things i could

actually make besides cereal

sandwiches were more than sandwiches for a period

they were a symbol of my 6 year old admiration

every off brand piece of american cheese each cold

splash of cold jelly over rye was an elegant affirmation of my

feelings an acceptance that the receiver filled something i was too young to understand

every day between learning spanish from my dead brothers hippie girlfriend

or his leftover friends staying around like the sweet aftertaste of the rather sour lemons

I loved to bite head long into and the daily tolles of naptime and coloring accustomed to any 6 year old

Id write a bonafide loved letter to these crazy parts people of my life between the peanut butter or the off tasting bologna i left a thin layer of childhood admiration

For i always loved lemons fruits and sandwiches

But what i'd always longed for was that empty oddity i'd become addicted too

I longed for my brother i longed for that missing oddity laced imperfection that i loved so much.