Hows Love

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Love is blind, as some shall say

You cannot see any of the way

You go through obstacles and jumps

as you hit patches and bumps

 

Love is a nightmare, according to them

that darkness falls and light dims.

You fall too hard and go too far

as you try your best to win the war

 

Love hurts as lovers may say

because they fell farther everyday

you get ripped and you get burned

yet everyday, the lovers earned

 

When you're in love, they say you fly

and every hour and day will go by

faster in the blink of an eye

and the higher you go, the more you try. 






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valkyrie1212This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 17 at 6:50 pm
This poem's quite nice, and you were able to get the basic idea across, which is great! The only thing I could find was that in the second stanza, the rhythm was off - it didn't flow right. So maybe you could rewrite/reword it, and then read it aloud to see if the rhythm is better. Other than that, this poem's well written and quite enjoyable to read :)
 
s_kins13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 26 at 10:13 am
hey, i agree, the poem does get its message across to the reader. Thats an awesome thing. Some poems can get to crazy and out of topic. But, again, the rhythm wasn't clear. It switched from stanza to stanza so the poem was a choppy to read. But you rhymes were on spot!
 
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