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amoraphobia: implosion of the heart
January 16, 2017
A rock is in my shoe
A rock is in my shoe, never quitting,
Rubbing me raw, and I am a mountain and I am splitting
Open and a fine mist comes streaming out
My unwitting mind lays witness to its death
It’s not because suffering is unremitting
Or God is a classic case of “I’m s***ting you”
I want to crush my own spirit before someone else can do it
Afraid someone will find me and see my exterior
Don’t fear her, they’ll say, suddenly they’re committing
I can’t run away when I’m joined to my roots
My poisonous roots, there’s no joy in these roots
I am attached to my own breaking back
And now I’m admitting it
I am a mountain and I am splitting
Because I am afraid to be loved.
© Photo by Krystina B., Milford, CT
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