14 and Not Afraid | Teen Ink

14 and Not Afraid

December 16, 2016
By carlyhazz GOLD, Overland Park, Kansas
carlyhazz GOLD, Overland Park, Kansas
11 articles 0 photos 0 comments

14 got time to kill
With drugs shooting up through my veins like I’m some sort of medical experiment
But it’s ok cause I’m not afraid
14 screwing around with the girls and I leave a nice wad a cash
People say my childhood’s gone
But I don’t know how can you lose something you never had?
In the Bronx we call ourselves 9 Crew
Claiming E. 169th St. and Washington Ave.
14 sheltered in the corners of the street where my brothers are waiting for me
“Where we goin out tonight?”
“Let’s grab some beer and find us some of the good stuff and get blown.”
14 walking up to store front windows
Feeling the 9-mm metal in my back pocket
Loaded. Ready
I’m not afraid
Gripping to the handle of the blade in my hand
Opening the door, I walk in first
“Kneel to the floor! Hands up! Heads down!”
Grab the money let’s go
My family surrounding me counting the money
Black hoods cover up black faces
Identities, individualities, personalities
In and out of courtrooms as a second home to me
14 with charges of attempted murder and robbery lined up against me
I always get released so I’m not afraid 
14 back on the streets where I feel safe
The streets where a man sees us in the dead of night
My boys say I got to hush him up
I got to shot him
14 ain’t my first time
Sirens from the distance suddenly getting closer until we see the lights
They run so I run
They are faster
“Wait!”
But they won’t wait
They wait for no one not even family
14 I’m not afraid
“Stop and don’t move!”
Surrounded
I reach behind my back pocket
“I said stop!”
Unformed men surround me with guns held up
I have it in my hand
“Drop the weapon!”
14 God I’m afraid
I slowly raise the gun


The author's comments:

This poem is inspired by a true news story that I read online. It was about a young African American boy who was part of a gang and he was shot and killed by police. It was also inspired by the graphic novel Yummy: The Last Days of a Southside Shorty by G. Neri.


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