My Toes in the Sand | Teen Ink

My Toes in the Sand

December 13, 2016
By l.judd20 BRONZE, Wyckoff, New Jersey
l.judd20 BRONZE, Wyckoff, New Jersey
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I wiggled my toes and collapsed my body into the warm, golden sand.

My skin instantly warmed up as the heat from the sun touched my body.
I stared towards the majestic blue ocean and felt the pain from the shimmering sunlight reflecting into my eyes.


It was my form of relaxation.
Listening to the sound of the waves crash against the shore.
Listening to the seagulls screech.
Listening to the light winds blow against my cool ears.


I stood up and ran towards the ocean, admiring the picture-perfect setting.
Instant coldness ran up my spine as the overlapping, crawling waves touched the tip of my toes.
I felt the texture change go from rocky and grainy, to soft and luscious as I walked farther down into the ocean.


I ran back into the sand and let the sun heat up my skin again, laughing and singing with content. 
It was peaceful to have it all to myself.
I cherished these moments.
The sand.
The water.
The air.


It was almost as if it was all a dream.
That is when I woke up.
That life was a dream.
My dream.


I had almost forgotten that it wasn’t real.
That my hopes didn’t come true.
I had almost forgotten where I had been in that moment.
Life couldn’t be that good.


I had hoped I could forget reality.
For just one second.
I had hoped I could forget the negativity which had been imposed on me from such a young age.
I had hoped to remember my foster families who gave me a reasonable life, and forget the ones who didn’t care about me.


I searched around the closet, which my present foster mother had locked me into, in hopes to find something different than before I had fallen asleep.
But no.
I was still still isolated in the dark.


I didn’t get why she locked me up this time.
What did I do to deserve this life?


It almost made it worse that the only visible light was the small beam peeking under the door.
It was taunting me.
The lightness was right in front of me but I couldn’t reach it.
There was only the small closet, the darkness, and I.


The previous times I got locked in here by my foster mother, I would talk to myself.
Tell myself it must be my fault.
Tell myself I must have done something awful to live this kind of life.


But not this time.
This time it was different.
This time I told myself how everything was going to be ok.
This time, I told myself how I would eat dinner tonight.
This time, I told myself how I would eventually get out.
Not just of this closet, but of this type of life.


And that is when it clicked.
I noticed something new which I never noticed before.
My foster mother had changed the light in the hallway, which shined a little brighter than the others.
Just enough to peek under the door, and into the dark closet.
I think it was the only thing she did good for me.
Because it gave me a little more hope.
That I will be able to reach the light and step away from the negativity and mistreatment.
I sat there thinking about my dream, my time at the beach.
I will live my life how I wanted to, with my skin being kissed by the sun, and my toes in the warm, golden sand.



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