At 15 I realized I can silence people with the power of my voice.
Words rolling off my tongue like bullets flying sporadically at anyone standing still enough to let them.

At 14 I looked for an apology in everything I heard. I looked for a sign of hope in everything I wrote. I believed that I could make a change.

At 13 I was hurt so bad the year lasted 30. I was gone beyond repair. I wrote till my fingers bled and got my first therapist.

At 12 I was taught my body was not what men wanted. I was taught that being uncomfortable should make me comfortable. I was taught whenever I had a lump in my throat to get a glass of water and swallow it like a pill.

At 11 I took my anger out on everyone and everything. I abused my friends and my mind. I thought love was another syllable for hurt.

At 10 I looked up the definition for depression for the first time.

At 9 I didn’t know I was sad.

At 8 I got a new dad.

At 7 I felt like I wasnt supposed to live

At 6 My dad left.

At 5 I had nightmares.

At 4 I liked Dora and played outside.

At 3 I thought sad was not getting a toy at Mc Donalds.

At 2 I only loved my family.

At 1 I was learning that society will never except me even this young, that they only care about my life when im in the womb.

At 15 I fell in love.

Soon I will be 16 and I will know how it feels to want to live and yet want to be 6 feet under.