I can’t think.
My mind wanders into universes so vast and scarce,
That my breath shatters like glass against a cold concrete floor.
Glass that once held something beautiful.
Nothing beautiful ever lasts.
Falling back into my comfort is slowly numbing my conscious,
Sending me into an unwanted, yet necessary panic.
War constantly wages inside my mind, my heart.
Inside my eyes.
Wanting to be a part of the world when He told us to separate ourselves,
Only to lose the battle by falling back into my desires.
Desires that only the eyes can see, but the blind can travel.
Day by day, Satan coats me in a blanket of fire
Of which my senses mistake for warmth.
I’m blowing it out of proportion.
I need to control my thoughts.
But I still can’t think.
Mommy takes care of mommy,
But mommy can’t care for her own.
And sister learned from mommy
That scripts made bank for loans.
And nieces are screaming that policemen are bad,
“They take mommy away from us!”
Because big sister learned that from dad
And daddy learned from little on
That powder wished pain gone
So that became his life
On and on and on
But when it came time to grow up and break free
Daddy and mommy realized they couldn’t afford to feel
No even if it costed the fortune of loving me
So that became their life,
On and on and on…
Comfort of the Addict