Envy and I

September 21, 2016

I am no stranger to Envy.
That twisted collision of longing and spite has touched man since the discovery of desire. And I, being well acquainted with desire's delightfully dangerous flame have often crossed paths with this wicked Shade of Red.
The words She whispered felt like napalm and nicotine. They burned me, blinded me, but brought me back again and again.
But, you see, the depth of Her danger lay not in the potency of her lips, but in Her magician's hand. Smoke and mirrors, She pointed my gaze away, fooling me to seek antidotes for my circumstance rather than the fangs sunk in my throat. My pain came from her, or that other girl, or him or that. I was powerless against the whim of an unfair Fate, perhaps and unfair God. But that did not stop my desperate grasp, my attempted capture of the wisps of my life to form the cloud with my palms. I was free-falling wildly, because I could not see that the only hole in my glider was Envy herself.
Until I learned the most splendid truth.
Envy is an agent of Identity. She acts only as long as He is the master of my thoughts and emotions; as long as He is master of my life. The true Self cannot be changed by my perceived shortcomings; and further is benefitted by the successes and virtues of all others so long as they are dedicated to the cause of Love. But Identity, he is the fool. He and his agents, Envy, Insecurity, Reputation, Self-Righteousness, and Scarcity propagate Destruction; for Identity is made of Fear. There is something that must be, and something that must not be in order that the self-image may be positive in Identity's eyes. It is "dependent on the world".
But our souls are not made of the world. My value cannot both be stock and infinite. Therefore, my failures and successes, and the failures and successes of others should not have jurisdiction in my heart or my mind.
With this, Envy's illusion over me shattered. I found in myself the unshakeable presence of love that is my birthright, and though Envy has come to visit hence, the light of my knowing soon repels her venom, and she is cast out, leaving my heart free to rejoice the successes of every man and woman as my partners in creation and divinity.

Post a Comment

Be the first to comment on this article!

Site Feedback