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Ode to Toaster Oven This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

You’ve burned me so many times

(No, really; my nerve endings are dead) I feel nothing anymore

You tick like a bomb, waiting for the final detonation

(Or maybe that’s the timer I’ve set) Of our love that will not last

My emotions have been beaten

(The same color as the bread you) Blackened and wasted to ash

A fire rages both around and within us

(My house is literally burning, and truly) You are the start of it all

You didn’t have to explode

(I only wanted a strudel) But you ticked for too long

I should have been there

(The handbook said to never leave the kitchen while you were on and) I never should have left

I think about you day and night

(You're an unanimated cooking appliance, so naturally) I doubt you do the same for me

I entered this relationship with hope

(I blame my hopes of a decent breakfast for the fact that) I exited with unfilled promise

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