I'm lying here

and all I can think about

is how much I miss struggling to stay awake because I know that as soon as I close my eyes I'll get yet another snapchat from you.

I'm mad at you,

yet every constellation out tonight forms your quirky smile and shows just how beautiful your soul is.

This place is a reminder of who we used to be. 

Used to-as in the past. 

As if the past could be so close.

Too easy to look at and say "wow, It's only been four months."

I've let you go, 

If letting go means I've learned how to live without you there.

If letting go means I've accepted you're not here and that I'm finding everything wrong with our friendship in the first place.

But.. we went everywhere in this town. 

There wasn't a thing I kept hidden from you.

Yet here I am at 2 am figuring out that there is cast emptiness to every constellation.

I'm seeing, for the first time, that,

While I kept nothing from you, you kept everything from me.

You're my black hole,

You sucked up every happy thing about me

and now I have no idea where it is.

I still miss you though,

just like I'm sure a star missed the blackness when it's suddenly interrupted with a meteor.