August 29, 2016

Right now

In the stillness of the




The Occasional sound of

Wind howling

Or rain dripping

As the day turns into night

Birds echo

Their last cries

Which so beautifully

Dance with the sound of the Rain

But Tomorrow


There’s always tomorrow they say

What if I don’t want tomorrow


There will be the fear of



I am unsure if I will make it

Through the day without

A tear or a broken heart

The others don’t understand

I put on a mask

A Facade

That I am happy

And Carefree

I try to trick myself

Into that lie


The pain

In which I suffer

Runs too deep

My life is

A Tornado

You can’t predict

When it happens

But you know why it does

The strength will vary

But in the end

There is always a mark

Whether big or grand

There Is Always



Even if it is the smallest dent

And when it does hit

Over and over

And over

It will come

No mercy

No emotion

The scratches

Slowly wear it down

Like ancient rocks


And In the End

The land left in its wake

Is still


And destroyed

When I wake up Tomorrow

I will be sent there

That place

I have to go there

If I fail I

Don’t want to go on

Why do they not understand?

I am not the same as the others

If they say I must

Write an essay

I stare blankly

At the page

Dreaming of when it will end

As I stare I know nothing will be added

It won’t be finished by the due date

I will fail once again




I wake up

Anticipating this

Being scolded by faces

That need not say a word

They and I both know

I am a failure there

Hopeless, empty


But not peace

Rain but

Not Serenity

With the silence comes

A storm

Where the tornado

Arrives unexpectedly

And the lightning

Is not beautiful

And where the Thunder

Is only

In your mind

As I write this

I know I am going there tomorrow

Understanding that there is tomorrow

Has caused me

Since I

Was Under the

Age Of Thirteen

To have to face court

Every other week

Has to spend an extra hour at that stormfront

Every weekday

To have all of their expectations

Be disappointed

All of their fears

To become real

They may not move on

When the Next year comes


There is Tomorrow

And that

Breaks me

To the core

To know that

All of that Is coming

When I

Wake up



Each Day

I Get Closer

Closer To The End

Where I will



Get Taken Away

From all that I have




I am getting closer

I am almost there

Hoping, teetering

Off of the edge

Of Oblivion

Where I may stand,

Or I will fall

So close

To failure

And to Slight


But in the End of it all

I am just wasting time

That could be spent

Getting away from the edge

Walking back towards home

Instead of Watching

The Pools Of Lava

And the poor souls like me

Waiting there

Waiting for me

Waiting for me to jump

To Fall

To Fail

On the other side of


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