2 year gap of pessimistic vibes going through my mind.
I have no motivation.
No muse to put my flow in.
No new stories to tell.
To afraid of who to tell them to.

Writing about friends? I don’t have enough

Writing about anime? I haven’t seen enough

Writing about books? I haven’t read enough
Writing about a story? I haven't lived enough.
Writing about my feelings? Haven't felt enough?

I guess not, considering the fact that the only emotion I’ve been feeling is doubt.
Self-doubt that has been clouding my mind and not letting my intellectual side come out and be revived.
Keeping it hidden from the world to see, never allowing it to show it’s true amenities.

Someone is hidden, haven’t seen her yet.
Afraid of what she’s become.
Afraid of what I’ve become.
Afraid that our abilities won’t match anymore, or compare anymore, or deserve anymore, or live anymore.
Afraid that our ideas have died out.

Never really allowing them to breath.

You see, I haven’t done much breathing recently either.
An endless cave of darkness appears in front of our faces. Not a bit of sunlight shines through.

Only the thoughts that make us think that we're the antagonists.
We’re the bad guys here, there's no one else that’s responsible.
It’s our fault now, for lowering our expectations
So low we are crushing under the weight

We are killing our own dreams.
Our hopes.
Our ideas.
Our commitment.
Our life.
Let us blame ourselves.
For we are the only ones who know the way out.