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Mirorrs
I constantly look at myself and I see a girl.
Not any girl, an ugly girl.
A girl who is constantly ridiculed because of how naive she is.
I see a girl who isn’t pretty,
A girl who is too wide,
Or too red.
A girl who will never be called beautiful.
I see a girl who has built a life based on lies,
A girl who will have to face the truth one day,
Or fall because of her actions.
A girl who will risk everything to be that perfect person.
I see a girl who has lost so many people,
A girl who has had people leave,
Without even caring to say goodbye.
A girl who never felt she could turn to anyone.
I see a girl who has been beaten down,
A girl who has come out of the dirt darker than before,
Born without a ray of hope or happiness.
A girl who sees the world in black and white.
I see a girl whose life has been sucked dry,
A girl who trudges along,
She struggles to get up everyday.
A girl who is tired of fighting a never ending battle.
I see a girl who tries to please everyone,
A girl who wants everyone else’s approval,
And forgets to please herself.
A girl who is lost in all the promises she made.
I see a girl who finds something she loves,
but loses it to someone or something,
A girl who only wants to have fun.
.A girl who just wants to make her parents proud.
I see a girl afraid of falling,
A girl who is afraid her legs aren’t strong enough to hold her up,
If she falls...she won’t be able to get backup.
A girl who just needs guidance.
I see a girl who has made a lot of little mistakes,
She never saw what she had,
And she took advantage of that.
A girl who wishes she had more time.
I see a girl not capable of love,
Her heart has been broken and pieced back together,
Each time becoming more fragile, more cracked, smaller than the time before.
A girl who needs a healed heart.
When I look into that mirror,
I see a girl that I don’t want to be,
But I can’t change that girl because she is a part of me.
I am this girl.
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This is how I felt in middle school when I tried living a double life.