July 1, 2016
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you don’t know thiS but
i used to gO into the corner shop to feel sophisticated.
people would mistake my hot chocolate for coffee.
you don’t know this but
i used to Go intO the corner shop and check if you were okay.
of course, you were.
of course, yOu were aDmiring her.

she tugs your shirt collar, i check my pulse.
i need Blessed avinitY
so i pray to my angEls.
angels like grass stains on knees like metallic tastes in mouths like brushing teeth at 9:30,
like the pines like wet hair after showers like wide eYes but a tired mind -
like yOu.
yoU know i waRned you about this.
how iNstead of reiterAting “i love you”
i would say “Make surE you take your medicine this morning.”
or “call me When you're home so I know you’re okay.”
and you spun my abysmaL calLings through your brain,
then crushed them with your tongue.
“i’m sorry, i don’t know anymore.”
no, i’m sorry.
forgive me.
Forget it.

i wOnder if she saw you dancing today.
i am in the centeR of a vortEx,
manipulating time in circular waVes:
EveRyone around me moves so fast that they set me into slow motion
and i thank them for this.
they grant me more BrEath to look at you.
i realize that gravity has since spoken
but i can't help but think how maybe we can meet at thIs corner shop iN a few years;
i’m sorry i continue to hope like i do.
but my hair will be up how you like, and my dress will be your favorite color.
and i’ll Touch your Hand on purpose but makE it look like an accident.
and Slightly past correct timing,
we could walTz for a second infinity,
perhAps permanent this round.
but, if you choose otherwise -

make suRe you take your medicine this morning.
call me when you’re home So i know you’re okay.

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