Lies...

May 14, 2016
By Tylersaysrawr GOLD, Lyons, New York
Tylersaysrawr GOLD, Lyons, New York
11 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Smile little princess things get better" <3


I dont love you nor do i need you
Without you, i can make do
Im okay with never seeing your handsome face
Ill be okay if you leave without a trace
Lies. these are the lies
I need them to get by
When i dont have you.
Im happier alone
I never check my phone
Hoping for an “i miss you”
If anything im happier just dissin’ you
Because you arent what im looking for
You arent the only one i adore
I dont even want to be with you hun
When it comes to us, i swear im done
But lies.
I need the lies to get by
Just in case you leave.



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This article has 4 comments.


on May. 30 2016 at 12:23 am
Tylersaysrawr GOLD, Lyons, New York
11 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Smile little princess things get better" <3

Thank you for the feedback guys! And @Calum I will keep that in mind ty

Calum BRONZE said...
on May. 29 2016 at 6:15 pm
Calum BRONZE, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
2 articles 0 photos 25 comments
Sorry, the word spacing example didn't work out in the formatting, I'd just try and space so you have an even number of syllables.

Calum BRONZE said...
on May. 29 2016 at 6:14 pm
Calum BRONZE, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
2 articles 0 photos 25 comments
I would try working on the spacing a little bit. at points some of the lines seem to run together, or just run over. I would also try and cut down on the word repeats. E.g. You're lines: Im okay with never seeing your handsome face Ill be okay if you leave without a trace I would respace/ change the words to be: I'm okay with never seeing your handsome face I'd be fine if you left me without a trace Just so that there's less repetition and a more even feel. I think rhythmic structure is very important especially in rhyming poetry. Overall, though, a very nice piece, keep up the good work!

on May. 29 2016 at 5:45 pm
ambivalent GOLD, West Bend, Wisconsin
19 articles 0 photos 180 comments

Favorite Quote:
everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. the worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. [sylvia plath]

love how you didn't rhyme the last line! gives it so much more emphasis.


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