May 14, 2016

I dont love you nor do i need you
Without you, i can make do
Im okay with never seeing your handsome face
Ill be okay if you leave without a trace
Lies. these are the lies
I need them to get by
When i dont have you.
Im happier alone
I never check my phone
Hoping for an “i miss you”
If anything im happier just dissin’ you
Because you arent what im looking for
You arent the only one i adore
I dont even want to be with you hun
When it comes to us, i swear im done
But lies.
I need the lies to get by
Just in case you leave.

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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

Tylersaysrawr said...
May 30, 2016 at 12:23 am
Thank you for the feedback guys! And @Calum I will keep that in mind ty
Calum said...
May 29, 2016 at 6:14 pm
I would try working on the spacing a little bit. at points some of the lines seem to run together, or just run over. I would also try and cut down on the word repeats. E.g. You're lines: Im okay with never seeing your handsome face Ill be okay if you leave without a trace I would respace/ change the words to be: I'm okay with never seeing your handsome face I'd be fine if you left me without a trace Just so that there's less repetition and a more even feel. I think rhythmic structure i... (more »)
Calum replied...
May 29, 2016 at 6:15 pm
Sorry, the word spacing example didn't work out in the formatting, I'd just try and space so you have an even number of syllables.
ambivalentThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 29, 2016 at 5:45 pm
love how you didn't rhyme the last line! gives it so much more emphasis.
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