To the girl I thought I wanted to be,

I can't count how many times I've drawn you in my sketchbook 

How many times I've imagined waking up with your face

How many times I thought that if I looked more like you, 

I could get a boy to look at me the way my father looks at my mother with a sparkle in his eye

To the girl I thought I wanted to be 

I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I made you think that you were going to become real.

I used to think you were perfect

But your glamour has faded,

I am no longer looking at you with a veil

To the girl I thought I wanted to be 

I can count your ribs through your skin,

Bones protruding out of your body like jagged knives 

I am afraid I might cut myself on them.

There are bags under your eyes and it looks like you haven't slept in days

To the girl I thought I wanted to be,

that I was told I had to be,

It's been awhile since we last spoke 

It's still hard for me to get out of bed in the morning,

My hands still shake from anxiety,

I still feel like throwing up every time I eat,

But now I still want to be me.

I'm sorry, but that's who I want to be.