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Our Relationship Would Be Easier If You Could Just Play Nice This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.


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She emitted a snarl that warned
of her vermilion rage,
and seized the shiny, silver toaster
(my breakfast cookware of choice)
and brandished it above her head
with threats of defenestration.
Oh dear, how will I ever create
exquisite frozen waffle dinners?
In one gnashing breath, she shrieked
and launched a rocket full of profanities
my way while simultaneously dumping
(with excessive grace) my gleaming
toaster into our saltwater aquarium.
Save the fishes!
You’re not listening to me, are you?
No, not really. I know better.
Your words lose all sense of direction
when you are worked up like this, my dear.
Her cyan eyes flashed another warning –
the Doppler radar is forecasting severe storms.
Be prepared for anything, brace yourself.
I attempted to pacify the raging tempest; still
she captured some large wooden spoons
and red rubber spatulas (safe to 450°F)
(among other blameless bystanders to our fight)
and hurled them with unfailing inaccuracy.
With a splashing slap to my face, she snatched
her keys from the counter and with a BANG
stormed from our apartment for the last time.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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PurpleFeather said...
Apr. 25, 2010 at 12:41 pm:
Funny and cool. Nice word choice; very colorful. I loved this! What was she so angry about?
 
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me,myself, and i said...
Apr. 20, 2010 at 9:13 am:
That was a good poem, i liked it alot
 
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xxCMMx16 said...
Apr. 16, 2010 at 9:30 am:
cool ppoem.
 
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roseann This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 14, 2010 at 4:19 pm:
yeah, why was she so angry? very funny, except for the death of the innocent toaster!
 
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the.kanguru This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 12, 2010 at 11:16 pm:
h*** hath no fury like a woman scorned? :) that was amusing. sad, really, but also amusing.
 
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Eilatan This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 9, 2010 at 3:17 pm:
woah... what made her so angry?
 
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HaleyH. said...
Apr. 3, 2010 at 5:59 pm:
I loved it! Great work :)
 
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dancer13 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 3, 2010 at 4:32 pm:
Nice!! I loved this. (:
 
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live.create16 said...
Apr. 3, 2010 at 1:05 pm:
i love it :]
 
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baumshell said...
Apr. 3, 2010 at 12:24 am:
this is great
 
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Bella913 said...
Mar. 18, 2010 at 8:46 am:
Really nice. i like the style. thank and keep writing!!
 
beautifullyclueless replied...
Apr. 3, 2010 at 12:24 am :
fantastic!!! witty and dry, yet, still sad in the end.
 
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Joesiphine_Flick This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 12, 2010 at 5:11 pm:
I love this! It's so original and though it's hilarious, it always shows the truth of anger. and what happens in relationships! Rephreshing!!! (: check out some of my pictures! I'm sad i made some of them anonymus. ! ):
 
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katielynn21 said...
Mar. 12, 2010 at 2:34 pm:
I absolutely love this:)
check out some of mine.
 
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nash4prez said...
Mar. 12, 2010 at 2:02 pm:
Loved this :) Check out some of my posts!
 
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Bradley_F. said...
Mar. 10, 2010 at 7:52 am:
I loved this poem. it truly is one of the best and you are a great poet. keep up the good work
 
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imawriter? said...
Feb. 24, 2010 at 7:15 pm:
WOW! I loved it! I agree with AndThisIsReal. Deliciously brilliant. I have to admit, I laughed at the "Save the fishes!" line.
 
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Shahed said...
Feb. 18, 2010 at 4:21 pm:
gr8 work!
check out my work ..
i thnk we both write straight from the heart ;)
 
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(:##:) said...
Feb. 18, 2010 at 2:24 pm:
umm waht is dis supposed to be about
 
itsmebree45 replied...
Mar. 12, 2010 at 7:46 am :
uhmm...thnk about it
(not a brain buster)
 
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