Our Relationship Would Be Easier If You Could Just Play Nice MAG

January 28, 2009
By Megan Buckner BRONZE, Gilford, New Hampshire
Megan Buckner BRONZE, Gilford, New Hampshire
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

She emitted a snarl that warned
of her vermilion rage,
and seized the shiny, silver toaster
(my breakfast cookware of choice)
and brandished it above her head
with threats of defenestration.
Oh dear, how will I ever create
exquisite frozen waffle dinners?
In one gnashing breath, she shrieked
and launched a rocket full of profanities
my way while simultaneously dumping
(with excessive grace) my gleaming
toaster into our saltwater aquarium.
Save the fishes!
You’re not listening to me, are you?
No, not really. I know better.
Your words lose all sense of direction
when you are worked up like this, my dear.
Her cyan eyes flashed another warning –
the Doppler radar is forecasting severe storms.
Be prepared for anything, brace yourself.
I attempted to pacify the raging tempest; still
she captured some large wooden spoons
and red rubber spatulas (safe to 450°F)
(among other blameless bystanders to our fight)
and hurled them with unfailing inaccuracy.
With a splashing slap to my face, she snatched
her keys from the counter and with a BANG
stormed from our apartment for the last time.



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This article has 276 comments.


on Apr. 25 2010 at 5:52 pm
LeilaniLives PLATINUM, Fort Wayne, Indiana
42 articles 11 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"They say 'Life's two steps forward and one step back' - But what if I tripped and fell down the whole flight of stairs?"

Very creative! I love the meloncholy presense you brought into the piece. The sadistic truth behind this is almost looked through as your details create laughter building up inside the reader. Very nice.

on Apr. 25 2010 at 2:59 pm
Yousmell-likealoser BRONZE, Belgium, Wisconsin
4 articles 5 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life may not always be what you want, but life is all you've got; so stick a flower in your bellybutton and be happy!"

ooh yay it's back up :] I wrote this down back in October because it's so great and I enjoyed reading it so much. :]

on Apr. 25 2010 at 12:41 pm
PurpleFeather BRONZE, Canton, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 124 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The pen is mightier than the sword." - Edward Bulwer-Lytton

Funny and cool. Nice word choice; very colorful. I loved this! What was she so angry about?

on Apr. 20 2010 at 9:13 am
That was a good poem, i liked it alot

xxCMMx16 said...
on Apr. 16 2010 at 9:30 am
xxCMMx16, Saugus, Massachusetts
0 articles 0 photos 10 comments
cool ppoem.

on Apr. 14 2010 at 4:19 pm
Acalleq PLATINUM, Togiak, Alaska
22 articles 5 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have

yeah, why was she so angry? very funny, except for the death of the innocent toaster!

on Apr. 12 2010 at 11:16 pm
the.kanguru GOLD, Irvine, California
16 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Why is Jesus holding a machine gun?"
"Maybe it's part of his therapy."

h*** hath no fury like a woman scorned? :) that was amusing. sad, really, but also amusing.

Eilatan GOLD said...
on Apr. 9 2010 at 3:17 pm
Eilatan GOLD, Old Greenwich, Connecticut
11 articles 1 photo 307 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nobody is normal. Everybody in the world is a weirdo freak. Except you, which makes you a weirdo freak."

woah... what made her so angry?

on Apr. 3 2010 at 5:59 pm
dancer4Christ BRONZE, Granbury, Texas
2 articles 2 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Happiness is like the old man told me, look for it and you'll never find it all." -The Fray, Happiness
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." -Philippians 4:6

I loved it! Great work :)

dancer13 GOLD said...
on Apr. 3 2010 at 4:32 pm
dancer13 GOLD, Troy, Michigan
19 articles 0 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them." ~Jane Austen

Nice!! I loved this. (:

on Apr. 3 2010 at 1:05 pm
live.create16 GOLD, Dedham, Maine
11 articles 4 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott.

i love it :]

on Apr. 3 2010 at 12:24 am
beautifullyclueless GOLD, Fort Worth, Texas
16 articles 0 photos 24 comments
fantastic!!! witty and dry, yet, still sad in the end.

on Apr. 3 2010 at 12:24 am
baumshell DIAMOND, Burbank, California
68 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I was thinking how nothing lasts and what a shame that is."-Benjamin Button

this is great

on Mar. 18 2010 at 8:46 am
Bella913 SILVER, New City, New York
5 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Death is easy, living is harder."

Really nice. i like the style. thank and keep writing!!

on Mar. 12 2010 at 5:11 pm
highly--inspired BRONZE, Norman, Oklahoma
2 articles 6 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Whatever you are, be a good one." -- Abraham Lincoln

I love this! It's so original and though it's hilarious, it always shows the truth of anger. and what happens in relationships! Rephreshing!!! (: check out some of my pictures! I'm sad i made some of them anonymus. ! ):

on Mar. 12 2010 at 2:34 pm
katielynn21 DIAMOND, Sierra Vista, Arizona
63 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
live as if you'll die tomorrow, dream as if you'll live forever

I absolutely love this:)

check out some of mine.

eRiCa1304 GOLD said...
on Mar. 12 2010 at 2:02 pm
eRiCa1304 GOLD, Sarasota, Florida
10 articles 1 photo 11 comments
Loved this :) Check out some of my posts!

on Mar. 12 2010 at 7:46 am
ehh...bree BRONZE, Hesperia, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 10 comments
uhmm...thnk about it

(not a brain buster)

on Mar. 11 2010 at 8:52 pm
CoolBreeze PLATINUM, Winnemucca, Nevada
21 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. ~Mark Twain

Keep up the good work. I love the humor

on Mar. 10 2010 at 7:52 am
Bradley_F. SILVER, Memphis, Tennessee
8 articles 0 photos 5 comments
I loved this poem. it truly is one of the best and you are a great poet. keep up the good work


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