Memories MAG

December 17, 2008
By AmbRawr BRONZE, Allentown, Pennsylvania
AmbRawr BRONZE, Allentown, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
We choose the love we think we deserve ~The Perks


And I remember she wouldn’t wake up.
Her lips were mushed together in a
Horrible shade of red
They buried my mother in a white dress
And red lips.
And she couldn’t see.
Where are your glasses, Mommy?
And still at sixteen I bring them to my face
And peer through the distorted murky lenses
To see what she saw
Maybe one day …
And I remember it hitting me
Like it does every day
When I hear them all talk and complain about their
“Horrible” mothers
What’s it like to have a mother
I’d give anything to know,
Or at least for them to know how lucky they are.
They know.
And I remember she wouldn’t sit up
And I dreamed of a stuffing machine because
Someone whispered by my ear she was
Cut in half and stuffed
And it made no sense
And still at sixteen I wonder
What happened to my mother?
And I remember her faintly
She doesn’t even smile in my dreams anymore
And I wonder if she’ll ever be proud of me
If she’d ever approve of me
And who I’ve become
The things I’ve seen
The things I’ve done
And I remember her singing
Though I can’t hear her voice
The only happy Christmas I hold on to
Every year
Maybe one day it’ll come back
I used to think
Maybe one day she’d come back
And still at sixteen I hope
Maybe one day she’ll come back …
And I remember she wouldn’t wake up
Not even to say good-bye.



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This article has 829 comments.


on Nov. 8 2012 at 9:26 am
colorguardgrl ELITE, Derry, New Hampshire
111 articles 10 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?” - Mad Hatter

Beautiful. Absolutitly beautiful.

on Nov. 8 2012 at 6:31 am
Licenseplatelove, Cary, North Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"No one can be uncheered with a balloon." ~A. A. Milne in Winnie the Pooh

This peom is full of emotion.  I can releate because I know a friend who lost her father, he was kind of like a second father to me as well.  But back to your poem. It has good rhythm and conveys deep emotion. It is a little repetitive, but to me that just enforces the story and meaning. 

on Oct. 23 2012 at 12:29 pm
radicalchickster DIAMOND, Jericho, New York
52 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never, ever, ever give up."

Personally, I think you're a great writer, but that it could defintely use more work.

on Oct. 18 2012 at 6:34 pm
Misfit95 PLATINUM, Dover, Ohio
26 articles 0 photos 97 comments
Sad but beautiful. Great work. :)

Something16 said...
on Oct. 17 2012 at 7:20 pm
The message was really great and I can relate to it. But it didnt spark any real emotion in me. But I did like it.

on Oct. 17 2012 at 12:21 pm
kaiterbug BRONZE, Goose Creek, South Carolina
1 article 0 photos 5 comments
First of all I will start off by saying that your poem is ok. The meaning of your poem was clear and cohesive throughout and I applaud you for that. I will not sit here and tell you I know what you’re character is feeling because I don’t. I feel like you should have tried to evoke more empathy than sympathy. I think a poem is more effective when you use empathy (relating to people who feel the same as you do) than just simply having them give you sympathy (feel sorry for you). The fluidity wasn’t what it could have been. I personally didn’t like the repeating of “And still at sixteen I…” for me this repeating lost some of the serious ness of the poem because it’s trying to make people feel sympathy. They fluidity is also lost with some of the line breakage “Her lips were mushed together in a--Horrible shade of red--They buried my mother in a white dress--And red lips.--And she couldn’t see.” These lines just seems disconnected. “They know.--And I remember she wouldn’t sit up--And I dreamed of a stuffing machine because--Someone whispered by my ear she was--Cut in half and stuffed--And it made no sense” Your poem lost me here. Using your own words “it made no sense”.  It confused me and I was unsure of why it was used. I think you could omit this section and the poem would be completely fine on its own. Your use of figurative langue was a little lacking. You were straighter forward with what you meant. The imagery was much greater than frilly clichés. “…I bring them to my face--And peer through the distorted murky lenses…” I can really see this happening. All in all this poem was ok. With some editing I think it could be really great and effective in moving people more than it already does.

on Oct. 17 2012 at 12:20 pm
berenice uribe, Kansas City, Missouri
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
I  really enjoyed your poem.It uses imagery and describes clearly how you feel at that point in time.

VivIzzy BRONZE said...
on Oct. 17 2012 at 10:06 am
VivIzzy BRONZE, Goose Creek, South Carolina
4 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
where words fail, music speaks.

i feeel like this peice is very realistic and very relatable because i lost my mom very young and it describes how i felt exactly so keep up the good work

on Sep. 25 2012 at 11:51 pm
TheSkyOwesMeRain GOLD, Irvine, California
13 articles 1 photo 303 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments which take your breath away.

You are only as strong as your weakest link.

Wow, beautiful poem :) You conveyed the emotions perfectly...

Magnetar said...
on Sep. 22 2012 at 3:14 pm
Magnetar, Sayreville, New Jersey
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"It doesn't matter what you're looking for just as long as you're looking."

This is a powerful poem that conveys deep emotion.

on Sep. 21 2012 at 1:21 pm
PoeticTwirler PLATINUM, Wantagh, New York
24 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
" If I has to chose between loving you and breathing , I would use my last breath to say I love you...."

Yout poem was absolutly beautiful. I was able o feel your emotions. Wonderful job!

on Sep. 21 2012 at 10:54 am
Shaniawaloven, Hamptonville, North Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
I dropped a tear in the ocean, the day you find it is the day i'll stop missing you.

I really like your poem. I understand what you mean, but it was my dad who died. Great work!

on Sep. 13 2012 at 8:22 am
Yourboggert1 BRONZE, Welford, South Carolina
4 articles 3 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
dark cannot drive out dark; only light can do that. hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

i really enjoyed this. ofcourse it was sad but still, very good. your emotions were so clear and to the point! keep it up and let all your pain turn to beauty.

Memory2 said...
on Sep. 6 2012 at 6:59 am
I feel her pain and really dig deep for her with this. I'm so so sorry for ur lost and I pray that she will always be with u

on Sep. 6 2012 at 6:54 am
remember16 SILVER, WhiteLake, Michigan
9 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
This is only a minor setback to a major comeback

amazing poem, 

on Sep. 3 2012 at 7:44 pm
AnimeFallenAngel BRONZE, St. Cloud, Florida
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before." -Edgar Allan Poe

This wasso amazing! I am sorry for your loss :(

on Aug. 20 2012 at 8:22 pm
Mimi15 PLATINUM, Belfast, Maine
49 articles 0 photos 74 comments
This was so powerful. Your use of repitition and imagery are inspired. Im so sorry about your mother. You're a fantastic writer. If you don't mind, I'd love to hear your opinion of my poem Broken Structure. Cheers. :)

on Aug. 12 2012 at 1:09 pm
TheEvanescent BRONZE, Mumbai, Other
1 article 0 photos 2 comments
You've done a brilliant job there.! I could totally relate to the pain and longing of the child to the angelic mother who is long gone. My favourite lines:
"When I hear them all talk and complain about their “Horrible” mothers What’s it like to have a mother I’d give anything to know, Or at least for them to know how lucky they are"
Beautiful! Also the image..
Its lovely..Keep writing. Best wishes! :)

on Aug. 12 2012 at 8:05 am
quetta.1996 BRONZE, Flint, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
You can do anything if you believe in yourself.

wonderful poem, I'm new here and i have a new poem so check it out on my page :)

vazenitran98 said...
on Aug. 12 2012 at 7:30 am
vazenitran98, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 79 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street,I met a man who had no feet."

This is an amazing poem. Full of wonder and beauty. That's exactly what poems are. Keep writing and I hope to see more of your work!!




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