February Suffocation | Teen Ink

February Suffocation

March 3, 2015
By kikixkupkake GOLD, San Marcos, California
kikixkupkake GOLD, San Marcos, California
17 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The things that walk out when we open our minds." -Dylan McCoy


It's becoming hard for me to wake up in the morning.
I used to slide out of the sheets so easily,
Like I didn't need to think twice about what the world was going to present to me
Because I knew I could take it.
Yet, now it feels like I could only ever fake it,
And I'm not used to the uncertainty that my heart is feeling when I breathe,
I want to puke but I can only ever attempt to heave
This heartbreak from from my chest, wishing it would leave
And I'm not even sure why I got up in the first place.
I used to take full gulps of oxygen,
Convinced that I didn't need to pretend anymore, because this is high school.
The kids have grown up and surely they're not as cruel,
They all got out of bed, so I thought I could do it too,
But the more times I got out of bed, my uncertainty grew,
And I began to lose faith in what the world showed me
And now I'm afraid to watch the news,
You never understood why I took so much comfort in my bed
Because only I knew in my head that there was nothing I could ever do
To save myself from the pieces of my heart getting stuck in my lungs
And watching the world continue while I choked,
And I'm not even sure why I got up in the first place,
I'm not even sure why I got up in the first place,
I don't know why I let myself get up in the first place,
And now...
Now, every morning,
I try to swim up from underwater
And I can't inhale fast enough.
I can't inhale at all.
I can't get out of bed as easily anymore.


The author's comments:

this is how I feel.


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This article has 2 comments.


on May. 18 2015 at 10:59 am
sanddycandy SILVER, Wichita, Kansas
5 articles 0 photos 10 comments
I relate so heavily to what I just read. To see my own emotions due to depression come out in somebody else's poetry is absolutely beautiful.

on Mar. 8 2015 at 12:47 pm
WOWriting SILVER, Broadstairs, Other
5 articles 0 photos 266 comments
A depressing piece filled with emotion. I am so sorry if you feel like this. Try not to let these people get to you and if they do, tell someone you can trust or seek help.