Independence Day

February 18, 2015
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I weep for the stars,

So quickly forgotten

In the presence of

Majestic, booming


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JRaye This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 28, 2015 at 2:04 pm
I like this a lot :) To me it seems like a metaphor, for legendary people of the past being blocked out by today's celebrities. I do think you could have not put those spaces between the lines, and maybe lower-cased "so", "in", "majestic" and "fireworks", give it a sense of being a broken up sentence, if that makes sense? Either way, I love the idea behind this, it's really unique and beautiful. (Unless you literally prefer stars over fireworks, in which case same! They're much quieter! :))
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