want to say dark woods are enough
I want to say words slurred by drinks are enough
I want to say your arms
and these constellations are enough for me
but they just aren’t
because hands won’t hold themselves
and words won’t write themselves
and I’m tired of you as a theory
I’m tired of analyzing you like poetry
I want you in more than just song verses
I want you in more than burning throats
and stinging eyes
but do you even exist beyond there
do you exist beyond this realm of pain and back and forth
of consuming intoxication
do you even exist beyond
scorched skin
and bloodshot eyes
do you exist beyond
drowning
beyond being saved
and dragged back to the depths
by your own hand

I tried too hard to find you somewhere else
the proper place
the right time
but you’re just a concept i developed in my mind
you’re this fire i thought could be contained
but you ripped through me like the forests
ashes was all that you left
yet I’m here
well in the reach
of your choking grasp
and tomorrow
the infernos will be lit
with a forgiving smile
and i’ll be blazing with the hate of
loving you

I thought maybe these cage bars would melt
with your heat
and set me free
but it turns out
fire can’t burn itself.