You never really wanted me
But Oh! god you could have.
We could have been something
Something incredible
Instead of what we are:
Secrets hidden under floorboards and shoved into drawers
Unsaid words filtered through a strainer and then washed down the drain
Unnoticingly
Intentionally.

You never really liked me
But Oh! god you could have.
You could have thought about me every waking hour
Dreamt of me.
You could have asked me questions
Like you meant it.
Instead of what you did:
Be polite
Ask what you had to but
Answered, always answered.

You never really wondered about me
But Oh! god you could have.
You could have really dug,
Cut me open and dissected me
And I would have let you, too.
I would have let you stick your cold hands into my chest
Under my skin,
And allowed you to forage around for my heart and brain
Just so that you could understand a piece of me
That you’d never ordinarily see.

You never really loved me
But Oh! god you could have.
You could have loved parts of me that I hated
Just like I could have loved the things in you
That made you feel shame.
You could have loved the scraps of me
That I thought were lost forever
And I could have smoothed your splinters away.

We never really had a chance
But Oh! god we could have.