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Just to Let You Know This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

By
Your butchering words
In the beginning
Went through my head
As a child who listens
To every word you say

Your constant sarcasm
Your words which
I thought were the truth
The never giving up

Just to let you know, Dad
Those butchering words
To me are now worthless
For I know now
It was only your sickness

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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Kaileigh918 said...
Jul. 31, 2010 at 2:59 pm:

YES FANG AND MAX ALL THE WAY I HATE YOU FOR LEAVING FANG GRRRRR

in short, yes. :)

 
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OneGodForever32 said...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 10:17 pm:
Wow, this is really good! Although I have a suportive father, I understand the abuse you feel from sarcasm and vocal abuse. Very good and insightful poem!
 
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guzpacho said...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 4:46 pm:
i can sriouslt relate to this poem. my father was not with me my whole life but fer the few years that he was he has abused me in various ways. i applaud your courage. and your talent!
 
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pressp9 said...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 3:07 pm:
I love the word choice and the straight forwardness of this poem. If your Dad can't see how obviously talented you are, there must be something wrong..
 
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chyGURL said...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 12:01 pm:

i really undestand where ur coming from pweez commet back

 

 
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Hannah F. said...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 10:25 am:
I disagree with you my understands me more than anyone I know
 
Femme-Fatale replied...
Oct. 25, 2010 at 6:31 am :
You may disagree, but its their father who wasn't supportive. as awful a concept as it is, not everyone's fathers are as loving and understanding as yours is, and you're gifted to have such a good parent. this person, unfortunately, didn't
 
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Realist said...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 10:25 am:
It's an okay poem, my only problem is that its channeling and overused subject matter, regardless of whether your father is a jerk or not, it seems that over the past 20-25 years there has become a kind of following of Sylvia Plath, and the real problem is, nobody can channel what Sylvia Plath was doing and writing because firstly, she was an amazing writer, and secondly because she was living in one of the most oppressive time periods for someone of her ambitious magnetude. Generally its an oka... (more »)
 
apocalyptigirl replied...
Sept. 11, 2010 at 7:04 pm :
Wow "Realist," is it not possible that someone could have felt the same way as Sylvia Plath? Doesn't the greatest poetry appeal to a wide range of people? What if this person has never even heard of Plath? Plus, Plath's dad died when she was 8. I agree that there were aspects of the poem that could have been better---but to criticize the writer for the subject she chose? A subject that is obviously very important and emotional to her? You're a je.rk. Who the hel are you to tell people what they ... (more »)
 
Realist replied...
Sept. 12, 2010 at 7:38 pm :
I apologize for offending you, but I believe these comments are to help the growth of a writer. If I were to post my writings on here I would appreciate real criticism. Not people telling my I am great because lets be honest most people aren't and very few can control. I wasn't critisizing the subject matter perse but more the way it was used was incredibly plath like. Specifically the use of "butchering" and making it known that her "dad" was the subject of so much torment. I didn't tell her sh... (more »)
 
Femme-Fatale replied...
Oct. 25, 2010 at 6:37 am :
First off, as as grammatical note, its "per se" and the fact that you used [the wrong] quotes around the word 'Dad' shows that you honestly haven't gotten the grasp of the poem. Its fine to give constructive criticism, however you gave criticism on the emotional subtext, not on the poem itself, and that really just doesn't work. If you find the subject matter 'overused' and 'cliched', then you should realize that the reason it seems overplayed is because too many people are victimized by their p... (more »)
 
LilBenj This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 25, 2010 at 2:42 pm :
Cool down, kids. It's a poem. I agree the subject matter is a little over-used, but that's because it's a perfectly common human emotion/set of circumstances. I do agree, though, that I would like to see more development in this poem - I see it has great potential, and that it is sincere, but it hasn't quite blossomed into the poem it could be.
 
Femme-Fatale replied...
Oct. 27, 2010 at 6:05 am :

I agree, LilBenj, I wanted to read more. It was a little bit choppy for me, but a great beginning, I wanted to be immersed in the descriptive writing I know was just waiting there.

 

And I'm cool, haha, I get that its a poem, I just wanted to express my opinion, I'm new to TeenInk so I'm probably getting it all wrong, however I'm having fun while doing so. Thanks Realist and LilBenj and apocalypticgirl, this was a great debate :)

 
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asiangurl said...
Jul. 28, 2010 at 12:29 pm:
i could so relate to you, it was amazing. my dad is my blood dad but dont get me or even get any of his own kids. he's a down 2 face but oh well. thank you so much writing this.
 
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hollyhottell said...
Jul. 7, 2010 at 11:31 pm:
i can relate soooo much.. this is soo good.great job....bet our dads would get along great..sorry you have to have a worthless excuse of a dad,, hope for your sake one day he wakes up and sees whats in front of him
 
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Kaileigh918 said...
Jul. 7, 2010 at 3:26 pm:
please check out my work
 
kmarie replied...
Jul. 7, 2010 at 4:36 pm :
I love this poem! It's great! I can very much relate to what the poem is about. I have a poem similar to this one called "Dear Daddy". Please read my poems and comment if you don't mind. Or ate them : )
 
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DavidI said...
Jul. 7, 2010 at 2:41 pm:
The diction was really nice,but i'm not sure if I really like the syntax. Other than that is was a awesome poem. Keep up the good work. =)
 
Kaileigh918 replied...
Jul. 7, 2010 at 3:25 pm :
please check out my work
 
autoMan replied...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 5:12 pm :
Have you read the FANG book yet
 
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