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A Play On A Play On Words This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

When the tides change
I’ll be free
to drown among my people
in the ancient lands of nowhere
nowhere you would go
with a head upon my hat
and feet upon my shoes
it’s time to go inside
to survive
the cold of the air conditioning
in my room it’s harsh living
with the lights turned off
no one makes a sound
except the pitter patter of my soul
across the aluminum roof of my mind
like raindrops in your eye
all you are is a blurred image
thoughts once clear
are now hard to see
I have to retrieve my telescope
just to see you
still leaves me empty inside
’cause I think it’s my fault
that I have no idea
but I don’t know what to think
or where to begin
so I just sit and wait
for the tide to come in.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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FmsAnonymous said...
Jan. 7, 2011 at 4:57 pm:
You are amazing. You have great talents. When i read this i was so deep into the atmosphere and mood. Please keep writing.
 
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Hazel-daisy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 7, 2011 at 12:31 pm:
love it!! especially the last lines ''So i just sit and wait for the tide to come in''
 
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MyApocalypticThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 7, 2011 at 11:19 am:
Wow... this was beautiful... like, I don't know. It felt familiar, like I could touch it and maybe it would sting me or something, haha. This is a really amazing poem and I genuinely hope you keep writing until you're really old and have to make someone hold a pen for you :]
 
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gfgdfgsdf said...
Jan. 7, 2011 at 10:28 am:
this is really good!
 
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Ronaldo Z. said...
Jan. 7, 2011 at 9:04 am:

THIs is sooooo deep i love this mannn

 

 
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miss-silverwing This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 24, 2010 at 10:35 am:
Hm...Honestly, this isn't my favorite poem of yours. I feel like the line breaks are perhaps a little too short and abrupt, and for some reason, I have difficulty connecting emotionally with this poem. I like the last few lines, though.
 
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.Boo. said...
Dec. 16, 2010 at 8:15 pm:
PERFECT. i feel the same way every night
 
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sweetangel92 said...
Dec. 16, 2010 at 1:30 pm:
wow tht was amazing i love the imagry and the choice of words!
 
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elizalizabitch said...
Dec. 16, 2010 at 12:17 pm:
veryy nicee..:)
 
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LylaLovesLife said...
Dec. 16, 2010 at 12:32 am:
Beautiful! Very wonderful images flashing through my mind. You seem like you were sad while writing this. I love it! keep writing, ill read it.
 
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DakotaShadowThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 29, 2010 at 7:48 pm:
loveloveloveloveloved it
 
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elvinchangling55 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 25, 2010 at 7:22 am:
Love it, you are truly talented and the imagery is killer. I love the part 'pitter pattering of my soul across the aluminum roof of my mind'. Great work!!
 
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phlogistonThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 24, 2010 at 10:09 pm:
Wow I loved the flow. Very good work
 
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Rulesofmyown said...
Nov. 24, 2010 at 10:44 am:
this is beautiful and moving as well...keep up the good work!:) check out some of my work when u get the chance...thanks:)
 
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Andrewsaur This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 2, 2010 at 6:04 pm:

Thank all of you so very much for all your comments and critisisms... It brightens my day everytime I hear how my work makes you feel and effects you... :)

 

<3 Andrewsaur

 
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KimB92 said...
Nov. 2, 2010 at 4:49 pm:
This is beautifully written and I really enjoyed it. Along with everyone else, I like the imagery but I'm not clear on what the meaning is. That isn't necesarilly a bad thing though. Poetry should have a little mystery to it. I believe this is about some sort of loss? Fill us in haha (:
 
Andrewsaur This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 2, 2010 at 6:01 pm :
It is largely about a distants that was growing between me and one of my closest friends and my thoughts and feelings about it.
 
Flora replied...
Nov. 24, 2010 at 3:57 am :

Wow, It's woderfully written.

This reminds me of what happened between me and my "best-friend"

 
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lundamanda said...
Nov. 2, 2010 at 3:49 pm:
wow, this is absolutely beautiful. it leaves me speechles..
 
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Keely P. said...
Nov. 2, 2010 at 11:53 am:
Nice nice, i don't really get the point of it but it is very deep. So fill me in if you can
 
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