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Growing Up

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As a child I believed that life would be like a classic Fairytale-
glass slippers,
fairy godmothers,
flying carpets,
and most of all true love.
I thought that one day he would appear and sweep me off my feet
Tall, dark and handsome,
my prince charming.
He would sweep me off my feet and carry me away to a better life.
One of pumpkin carriages and ball gowns made of silk.
One of castles in the sky and genies trapped in bottles
One where bad dreams didn't exist and tears were never shed.
I thought all lives played out that way
If only one wished hard enough.
I thought that all it took
was a coin dropped in a well,
a penny flipped into the air,
or a wish made upon a star.
The first step to learning how to fly is faith.
After that all you need is a little bit of trust and pixie dust
I had faith
and I trusted the stories with all my heart
but no matter how many pennies I fed to the well
and no matter how many stars I wished upon
I never flew
I stayed where I was.
Waiting for my prince to come.
Waiting for my life to change.
Waiting for my dreams to come true.
I waited desperately
wanting my drab and simple life
to become the amazing and impossible world I found in my storybooks
and on movie screens 20 ft tall
I waited
For the mirror on my wall
To tell me I was the fairest of them all
For a mad man with a box
To show me all of time and space
I waited
For a pair red ruby slippers
To bring me to Oz
And in my waiting I've learned quite a lot.
I've learned that children must grow up -
We can't all be like Peter pan
Or spend our days wandering with Alice through Wonderland
And that not all godmothers are fairies in disguise
Most of all I've learned
that Jimminy Cricket was never more wrong
than when he told me that if I wished upon a star
all my dreams would come true.
I remember when the dry,bent sticks I used to pick from the ground
No longer became Excalibur in my hand
And when the stray cat I used to chase
No longer morphed into a giant eagle that could fly me to a far off land
When the wind no longer whispered secrets in my ear
And I realized my prince, my knight in shining armour, wasn't coming
When I was told I was no longer a child
And that it was time to let my fantasies go
But sometimes,
late at night
when i feel trapped-
lost
and all alone-
I pull a penny from my pocket and flip it high into the air,
Heads: he'll come tonight
Tails: he'll come tomorrow



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