The Empty Seats

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Lovely days as I had said
Happy times as I had expected
Those cheerful lips that I had seen
Not for me like I esteemed

Laughter spreads around the room
But yeah, should I hold my gloom?
No one to seek, no one so fit
All of them hastily retreats
Leaving with me empty seats,
Ghosts of the blissful past
And grief that forever lasts.





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Zach_M said...
Aug. 24, 2013 at 3:14 am
I really thought this was a unique poem. I love your thoughts and your symbolism; you did a really great job. I read this multiple times, but I didn't find much area of improvement, and with that being said, I really think this is a well written piece. Wonderful job
 
AcidRoses said...
Aug. 24, 2013 at 3:13 am
Gave it a few reads, a little hard to understand at first but I think I sort of get it now. the way I took it is that you're being forced to watch other people's glee and happiness and for some reason you're just stuck in sadness... I could be wrong though. Anyways, nothing really markedly wrong with this since you asked for critique. I suppose if I have to say something you could have added some more descriptive adjectives and some metaphors but its good nonethe... (more »)
 
BalladOfMonaLisa said...
Aug. 24, 2013 at 3:12 am
Awe, this is very cute, and simple but expressive. I appreciate the rhyme scheme, but some of the rhymes seem a little forced, at least to me. Despite that, it is still wonderful. Great job!
 
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