August 6, 2013
Between my old collections
and overgrown ideas
could I really be much more
than a few pockets of air?

Many people lay down words;
More have laid down lives.
But can beauty be diminished
in numbers grown too big?

Green is my favorite color,
and it’s easiest to see
because our eyes remember
what they’re tired of.

Perhaps through evolution
I will someday understand
the reason for the emptiness
one feels inside a crowd.

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Rayynbow said...
Nov. 12, 2013 at 6:56 pm
Okay, I think that I get this one. It's a little hard to grasp the meaning for me because each stanza seems so unrelated to the others, but the first and last one relate well enough, so that makes it put together enough for me to read it more than once. The third stanza (about green) seems the most random until the end of it, but even so the "Green is my favorite color" part is so far from the way that the poem began that it's confusing.   After read... (more »)
StarlitSunrise This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 13, 2013 at 9:28 pm
Thanks so much for the feedback! Now that I look back at it, I can see what you mean about the stanzas seeming disjointed. My aim was for each one to be a different example of how when we see something over and over again, it becomes less meaningful to us (despite the fact that some of those things should really mean the most). But I probably didn't do a great job conveying that. Again though, I really do appreciate the critique! :) I do seem to have a bit of a bad habit of only writing things t... (more »)
SwanSong This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 17, 2013 at 5:25 pm
I love this poem. I love the stanza specifically about green. I'm sorry that I can't offer any advice about this poem, but it's just so relatable!
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