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And If ...

By , arcata, CA
if three words could make you understand
then i would have already said them
if one touch could make you see me now
then i would have already touched you
and if one scream could show you fear
then i would have screamed by now.

silent promises that fade to dust, should of never been made
broken hearts all lining up, should of never been
tears falling from scarred eyes, should be smiling instead.


if a hundred gifts could make it okay
then i would have already taken one
if one kiss could make me forget all
then i would have already kissed back
and if two shakes could wake me up somehow
then i would of already been up.

silent promises that fade to dust, should of never been made
broken hearts all lining up, should of never been
tears falling from scarred eyes, should be smiling instead.



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UniquePerspective said...
Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:34 pm
Some grammatical errors but I love the vivid emotion.
 
TheSortingHatThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 2, 2013 at 1:47 pm
I think it's a really good poem.  I love the phrase "silent promises that fade to dust".  Grammatically, however,  there are several instances where you use "of" when you should have used "have".  For example, "should of never been made" should be "should have never been made".  I think you were thinking of the contraction "should've", which is pronounced similarly to "should of", but it is a c... (more »)
 
taketheofferThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 8, 2013 at 11:08 pm
thanks for the advice, im really bad at seeing grammatical errors lol.
 
SongBird14 said...
Jul. 1, 2013 at 6:39 pm
I love that you have created a solid and vibrent picture in my head. even if it may be painful and one that hurts to look at, it is one I am thanful to have seen. i love the way you broke up your stanzas and repeted what was nessary it reallly made it all the more powerful.
 
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