Internal Battle

February 19, 2013
By Lil_Miss_Turtle BRONZE, Klamath Falls, Oregon
Lil_Miss_Turtle BRONZE, Klamath Falls, Oregon
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Even in dance I can see it through your eyes,
I can see the pain behind your clever disguise.
As we spin and lock our gaze,
I can see the emotion burn like a blaze.
I can read your heart like an open book,
The same way you can read me with just one look.
Hand in hand we turn and spin,
I can't help but smile at that devilish grin.
At first we both seem fine,
But we fight our internal battles; pain yours, and lust mine.
As we part hands and step apart,
I see your hands shake and feel your broken heart.
We glance back smiling at the past,
Both knowing it'd never last.
Looking back at the time we spent together that night,
I wonder what would've happened if I put up a fight.
Would either of us feel these emotions,
If I had put feelings behind the motions?
Lost in time I lose my step and begin to fall,
You catch me and locking my eyes you say, I'm here for you through it all.
Together we finish the dance,
And I whisper lets take another chance.
From behind your blank face,
I see your heart quicken its pace.
You pull me close and tell me you love me,
I smile and say this was meant to be.

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This article has 1 comment.

on Mar. 6 2013 at 10:46 am
SteelersJdog GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
15 articles 0 photos 29 comments
I love the use of a dance as a way to convey this message. The rythym that you have really suits the idea of dances moving to the flow of music. It also allows the opposing feelings to flow naturally throughout the poem, and eventually collide such as two dancers do at the end of a song. That whole image was beautiful. I would just encourage you to perhaps use another rhyme scheme. If you feel comfortable using an AABB scheme, then by all means go for it, but I feel that this could be really brilliant if you had 6 lines to a stanza and had a rhyme scheme such as ABACBD. This is a scheme that is generally underused in my opinion, but in a poem that correlates with dancing, the flow would match the theme beautifully. All in all, great job!


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