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Things Happen

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Sometimes bad things happen,
And there's nothing you can do.
You can either let it
Pull you down,
Or you can fight on through.

I've been hiding in the shadows,
And you can see how well I've fared.
But you know,
I'm done with that.
I'm done with being scared.

It isn't worth my time
To let my fear rule me.
I just can't let it
Stay on top,
If I ever want to see

What things are like
Outside this world,
Where I've left myself alone.
And if I'm truly honest
This world is not my home.

That land outside these walls,
That land where I belong.
It's filled with Sun,
Not shadows,
Where I've been hid so long.

Two turns of seasons passed
While I've just sat in here.
So now it's time
To say goodbye
To my dark and lonely fear.

I've got to find a way
To get outside these walls.
That I built
So long ago,
The way out I don't recall.

Although I'm still
Unsure of how,
Someday soon you'll see,
That I'm on the other side.
Where I'll finally be free.



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BlackbeltJamesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 16, 2013 at 7:23 pm
It is good, you keep a constant theme throughout, and it develops nicely, showing your view/opinion and the feelings contained within it. The tempo/rythm of it is also very good, it makes it easier for the reader, however it does start to loose this in some of the paragrphs you have created. In this case the words are chosen correctly, but it is the line organisation; after each line the reader will put a sub concious gap, and this can sometimes put the reader off the current tempo of the poem.<... (more »)
 
GoldieLocks19This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 19, 2013 at 9:03 pm
Okay, well first thank you for looking at my poem and then reviewing it. Secondly, that makes sense. I didn't really think about that as I wrote it, but I will certainly consider it next time I write something. And again, thank you.
 
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