Angel In Blood

January 29, 2013
By CookieMonster24 PLATINUM, Delhi, Other
CookieMonster24 PLATINUM, Delhi, Other
25 articles 2 photos 149 comments

There she lay before me,
So stunning, so still
Her skin so soft, so pure
Covered in blood.

Her blue eyes wide open,
Dried tears ran along her temples,
Her dress as white as snow,
But covered in blood.
Broken chandeliers,
Broken glass
Her giant, dark wings,
Wide open, imprinting
The white marble floor
All in blood.

She fought her Brothers
She fought her Sisters,
That beautiful Angel,
That divine Angel
Ending her Eternal life,
She lay before me,
She was dressed in blood.
Her smooth, golden hair,
Covered her alluring face
There she lay before me,
She died, with her hair dyed
In blood.

And there she lay before me,
The beautiful Angel,
The divine Angel,
The Angel in blood


The author's comments:
I accept criticism. First try.

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This article has 22 comments.


on Nov. 30 2013 at 3:25 pm
CookieMonster24 PLATINUM, Delhi, Other
25 articles 2 photos 149 comments
I appreaciate your honesty. But I'd been thinking that the repetition was the only good part in this poem. And I've used 'died' and 'dyed' together on purpose XD But thank you, really. 

.king. SILVER said...
on Nov. 29 2013 at 5:25 pm
.king. SILVER, Yeux Bien Tres Bien, Other
9 articles 4 photos 573 comments

Favorite Quote:
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

 For an honest review, it was nice; perhaps if you didn't repeat the fact that she was drenched 'in blood' in every stanza . How about "Covered her alluring face
She died, with her hair stained
 In blood."  but you don't need to make those changes, hoped I helped a little :D

on Nov. 29 2013 at 3:39 pm
411Ellie PLATINUM, Fridley, Minnesota
41 articles 28 photos 235 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Paper is more patient than people." –Anne Frank

I agree. This poem is hauntingly beautiful. The repetition was used perfectly. There is nothing I would change. 5/5!!

halls SILVER said...
on Oct. 23 2013 at 3:14 pm
halls SILVER, Harrison City, Pennsylvania
6 articles 0 photos 19 comments
this is so good! it's so eerie in the most beautiful way possible 

on Oct. 19 2013 at 12:25 pm
compassion GOLD, Nowhere, Other
12 articles 17 photos 154 comments

Favorite Quote:
Expect to have hope rekindled,expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways! The dry seasons in life do not last,the spring rains will come again.

Hauntingly beautiful. Nice details. You think you suck at what ??

on Oct. 19 2013 at 12:19 pm
City_Of_Angels PLATINUM, West Des Moines, Iowa
25 articles 1 photo 31 comments
HOLY SH*T!!!!!!! This is actually really good. 

MMOON PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 27 2013 at 1:51 am
MMOON PLATINUM, Bellingham, Washington
26 articles 1 photo 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sop being afriad of what could go wrong. Start being positive about what could go right"
I also have another "Loving someone is like hugging a cactus. The harder you hold the more it hurts"

Very Powerful Cookie! Kind of haunting too, but i really enjoyed it. And the picture it paints is so realistic and beautiful in a way. I loved it!

on Jun. 11 2013 at 11:25 am
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.” –David Letterman

Haunting. Eloquent. Amazing. :D Keep up the great work!

SongBird04 said...
on Jun. 9 2013 at 12:30 am
SongBird04, Littleton, Colorado
0 articles 0 photos 89 comments

Favorite Quote:
You've gotta take the good with the bad, smile when you're sad, love what you got and remember what you had. Always forgive but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change and things go wrong but always remember life goes on

CookieMonster, This is so good! It's creepy and kind of chilling, but well written. Nice job!! :)

on May. 26 2013 at 1:03 am
CookieMonster24 PLATINUM, Delhi, Other
25 articles 2 photos 149 comments
:O THANK. YOU. SO. MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU! 

on May. 25 2013 at 12:12 pm
kikixkupkake GOLD, San Marcos, California
17 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The things that walk out when we open our minds." -Dylan McCoy

This poem is fantastic!! You have magnificent writing skills and I am so appreciative that you share them with the world. I admire the way you repeat yourself, "covered in blood, died in blood, dressed in blood, etc." it's very intriguing and paints a clear picture in my mind. You use such terrific imagery through this poem! I have to say, when you noted the way her wings looked and left marks of blood I was mystified. How could one line be so beautiful? I love this poem so much, 5/5 stars from me! Thank you for writing this.

on Apr. 18 2013 at 6:43 am
Fallen_ PLATINUM, Quakertown, Pennsylvania
25 articles 3 photos 436 comments

Favorite Quote:
" a shattered world is only an opening into a new beginning with laughs, smiles, and love all around enter the world of the light and away from the broken darkness"

You do not suck at poetry full honest truth is that i loved it <3

Phoenix. said...
on Apr. 14 2013 at 5:41 am
Phoenix., Pittsfield, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 93 comments
<3  

wordtea GOLD said...
on Mar. 14 2013 at 12:27 am
wordtea GOLD, Delhi, Other
14 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
'All men shall die.'- A Clash of Kings
'We accept the love we think we deserve.'- The Perks of Being a Wallflower
'Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.'- The Book Thief

you can deny it all you want.

on Mar. 5 2013 at 3:16 am
CookieMonster24 PLATINUM, Delhi, Other
25 articles 2 photos 149 comments
:O Puh-leez! Yours is way better! You can critisize it if you want to. I mean it.

on Mar. 5 2013 at 3:14 am
CookieMonster24 PLATINUM, Delhi, Other
25 articles 2 photos 149 comments
Yeah :) Thanks for the comment. I'll try harder :)

wordtea GOLD said...
on Mar. 4 2013 at 11:17 am
wordtea GOLD, Delhi, Other
14 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
'All men shall die.'- A Clash of Kings
'We accept the love we think we deserve.'- The Perks of Being a Wallflower
'Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.'- The Book Thief

and you say you suck at poetry. seriously girl, i'm jealous of your skills...!!!

melxoxo said...
on Feb. 25 2013 at 12:58 pm
i really enjoyed this poem, to make it sound more like poetry try a few more poetic devices this can be really effective but well done

on Feb. 17 2013 at 12:50 am
CookieMonster24 PLATINUM, Delhi, Other
25 articles 2 photos 149 comments
Nahh, I'm sure its not THAT good, but its my first try, so thank you very much :)

on Feb. 16 2013 at 1:39 pm
Sparkle1pops PLATINUM, Colorado Springs, Colorado
31 articles 20 photos 343 comments

Favorite Quote:
"No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did, he would cease to be an artist."
- Oscar Wilde

This is very good, the repetioton of blood is wonderful.


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