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Angel In Blood

There she lay before me,
So stunning, so still
Her skin so soft, so pure
Covered in blood.

Her blue eyes wide open,
Dried tears ran along her temples,
Her dress as white as snow,
But covered in blood.
Broken chandeliers,
Broken glass
Her giant, dark wings,
Wide open, imprinting
The white marble floor
All in blood.

She fought her Brothers
She fought her Sisters,
That beautiful Angel,
That divine Angel
Ending her Eternal life,
She lay before me,
She was dressed in blood.
Her smooth, golden hair,
Covered her alluring face
There she lay before me,
She died, with her hair dyed
In blood.

And there she lay before me,
The beautiful Angel,
The divine Angel,
The Angel in blood



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This article has 22 comments. Post your own now!

ShadoWingsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 29, 2013 at 5:25 pm
 For an honest review, it was nice; perhaps if you didn't repeat the fact that she was drenched 'in blood' in every stanza . How about "Covered her alluring face
She died, with her hair stained
 In blood."  but you don't need to make those changes, hoped I helped a little :D
 
CookieMonster24This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 30, 2013 at 3:25 pm
I appreaciate your honesty. But I'd been thinking that the repetition was the only good part in this poem. And I've used 'died' and 'dyed' together on purpose XD But thank you, really. 
 
hallsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 23, 2013 at 3:14 pm
this is so good! it's so eerie in the most beautiful way possible 
 
compassion said...
Oct. 19, 2013 at 12:25 pm
Hauntingly beautiful. Nice details. You think you suck at what ??
 
411Ellie This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 29, 2013 at 3:39 pm
I agree. This poem is hauntingly beautiful. The repetition was used perfectly. There is nothing I would change. 5/5!!
 
City_Of_AngelsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 19, 2013 at 12:19 pm
HOLY SH*T!!!!!!! This is actually really good. 
 
MMOON said...
Jun. 27, 2013 at 1:51 am
Very Powerful Cookie! Kind of haunting too, but i really enjoyed it. And the picture it paints is so realistic and beautiful in a way. I loved it!
 
KrasotaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 11, 2013 at 11:25 am
Haunting. Eloquent. Amazing. :D Keep up the great work!
 
SongBird04 said...
Jun. 9, 2013 at 12:30 am
CookieMonster, This is so good! It's creepy and kind of chilling, but well written. Nice job!! :)
 
kikixkupkake said...
May 25, 2013 at 12:12 pm
This poem is fantastic!! You have magnificent writing skills and I am so appreciative that you share them with the world. I admire the way you repeat yourself, "covered in blood, died in blood, dressed in blood, etc." it's very intriguing and paints a clear picture in my mind. You use such terrific imagery through this poem! I have to say, when you noted the way her wings looked and left marks of blood I was mystified. How could one line be so beautiful? I love this poem so much, 5/5 stars from ... (more »)
 
CookieMonster24This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 26, 2013 at 1:03 am
:O THANK. YOU. SO. MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU! 
 
FallenoutofgraceThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 18, 2013 at 6:43 am
You do not suck at poetry full honest truth is that i loved it <3
 
AlwaysDepressed-JR- said...
Apr. 14, 2013 at 5:41 am
<3  
 
CherryPie said...
Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:17 am
and you say you suck at poetry. seriously girl, i'm jealous of your skills...!!!
 
cookiemonster24This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 5, 2013 at 3:16 am
:O Puh-leez! Yours is way better! You can critisize it if you want to. I mean it.
 
CherryPie replied...
Mar. 14, 2013 at 12:27 am
you can deny it all you want.
 
melxoxo said...
Feb. 25, 2013 at 12:58 pm
i really enjoyed this poem, to make it sound more like poetry try a few more poetic devices this can be really effective but well done
 
cookiemonster24This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 5, 2013 at 3:14 am
Yeah :) Thanks for the comment. I'll try harder :)
 
Sparkle1popsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 16, 2013 at 1:39 pm
This is very good, the repetioton of blood is wonderful.
 
cookiemonster24This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 17, 2013 at 12:50 am
Nahh, I'm sure its not THAT good, but its my first try, so thank you very much :)
 
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