Faith

This passion is trying
to ignite.
It's flickering like
my dying sight.
The rainfall starts out
kind of frail.
Showering
the nightingale.
Both delicate like
white eyelet lace.
Yet strong like my savior's
saving grace.
It can't be captured
like butterflies.
Though sometimes weak,
it never dies.





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freeperson said...
May 25, 2013 at 1:27 pm
Same here!!! that happens to me all the time
 
thatunknownthing This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 18, 2013 at 3:16 am
Such a beautiful poem, with amazing lines, and a delicate rhyme. I have the same faith as you...in nature! :) so, relatable.  again, awesomely written. 5/5!! (i never give that to ANYONE!)
 
RarelyJaded This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:48 am
Well then thank you VERY much, lol. I never capitalize my thanks:)
 
StarlitSunrise This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:29 pm
  Alright, I am going to try not to waste too much of your time with long comments. :P So here I will be brief and just say that “It’s flickering like my dying sight.” was a truly beautiful little phrase.
 
RarelyJaded This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 16, 2013 at 1:16 pm
Thank you! And you wouldn't be wasting my time:)
 
SaphiraBrightscales This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:15 pm
faith....Kinda like hope and belief...I wrote something like that a long time ago..this is much more amazing though..Though the first line wan't that impressive....It's a nice poem...plus I'm happy to read it, the fact that "it never dies"  :D
 
RarelyJaded This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 13, 2013 at 6:38 pm
Haha, thank you. Could you tell me why the first line wasn't great though? I would really appreciate it, since I want to improve my writing:)
 
SaphiraBrightscales This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 14, 2013 at 10:20 pm
Because it didn't have that element you know..I've found it in the rest of your poems , the first line always pulls the reader in..this first line was similar to many others (from other not-so-good poems) I've read before plus it wasn't too suited to the title...That's what I think... but really there's "feeling" in this poem and that's what I love about it..
 
RarelyJaded This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 1, 2013 at 5:01 pm
Thank you :)
 
bethanyebethany said...
Feb. 1, 2013 at 12:39 pm
I love this!! It's really beautiful.
 
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