November 2, 2012
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A solitary missile of white sparks
Pierces the velvety blanket of night sky.

With a sound replicating the crack of a gun,
The single missile multiplies.
Dozens of other missiles emerge
From the single missile
Shooting outward in every direction,
Sprouting into a wondrous explosion of colors,
A dandelion puff of sparks.

More follow,
Each one surpassing
the extravagance of the preceding.
Each one unique
in its way of displaying magnificence.
Each one shifting into various shapes,
Capturing the imagination of the onlookers.
A thick plume of fire spiraling upwards
Is a fiery snake crawling towards the sky.
A great billowing cascade consisting of
Every color imaginable
Is a blossoming flower spreading its petals
Each one illuminating the sky,
A light in the darkness.
Each one leaving a trail of sulphurous smoke,
Leaving a distinct pungent aroma.

Each one casting their light
Upon the sea of enraptured faces
Staring upwards in awed silence
At the magical phenomenon unfolding above.

And in that moment of time
While you feel yourself falling
Into a trance as you watch
The hypnotic shapes snake across the sky-
As you marvel at the beauty
Of the spectacle in the heavens-
All fear,
All worry,
All grief and concern
And you feel as if
The world
Is a perfect place.

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This article has 8 comments. Post your own now!

jetta.ckThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:39 pm
Nice imagery! This is a great poem as well. The only thing I personally would change is the repeated use of the word "missile" in the second stanza. To me, it sounds a bit overused in that stanza, but that's just my opinion. Also, you need a stronger conclusion to tie up loose ends. For example, when you write a story you need a resolution to clear up the remaining fog from the conflict. I felt that you didn't have the right material in your poem to tie up all of the loose ends... (more »)
Kris_10 said...
Jan. 20, 2013 at 4:05 pm
You seem like you were trying so hard to use great vocbuary. however, im some parts near the middle, it was harder to follow due to how wordy it was. that being said, the ending was beautiful. it perfectly summed up the whole thing. great job!
nmk1128 said...
Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:24 pm
I thought it was a very good descriptive poem; the way you used "the snake" as a metaphore for the fire works was a great visual, and reminds me of what its like to me in utter awe of such a firey spectacle.
guardianofthestars This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:36 pm
Vivid description! Very nicely done and 5 stars worth I think. I agree with CammyS about the word 'missle', but like she/he said that is easy enough to fix, but other than that very nice :)
CammyS said...
Nov. 10, 2012 at 1:47 pm
This is amazing! I don't know how you did it, but you captured my feelings when I'm watching fireworks perfectly. You asked me to be blunt though and here it is-  in the 2nd stanza I think you use the word "missle" too much. Very small fix though- great job!
flanny This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 12, 2012 at 6:30 pm
I agree with you, thank you so much for the feedback!!
Rolledthestone This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:23 am
Nice detail! Only thing I can add to the previous suggestions is maybe a more creative title. I always (though I shouldn't) chose to read poems with creative titles that capture my interst. Blunt titles are like the movie "Snakes on a Plane" they give away what the movie (poem in this case) are about and it make you feel no need to read it.
flanny This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:29 am
thanks for the suggestion! yes i think that would improve the poem, the only reason i was hesitant about making it a creative title was that the readers might not be able to connect with it in the same way. I realize now though, that would be a good improvement. Thanks!
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