Autumn

October 15, 2012
By j_allen01 GOLD, Pottersville, New Jersey
j_allen01 GOLD, Pottersville, New Jersey
14 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Crisp autumn smells of pumpkin and spice fill my nostrils,
A fresh baked pie cooking in the oven.
Leaves turn from green to yellow,
Peering in through the glass panes,

Lighting up my otherwise colorless living room.

I walk outside onto the porch,
Feeling the breezy autumn air on my skin.
I hear the sounds of birds calls,
Highlighting the beautiful forest wonderland;

A breathtaking music to my ears.

A light smirk reveals itself on my once expressionless face,
As I just sit


and watch




and listen.


The author's comments:
Just a poem I wrote. Please leave your thoughts in the comment section!

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This article has 1 comment.


MSBCBB said...
on Oct. 17 2012 at 10:29 am
MSBCBB, Goose Creek, South Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 8 comments
I felt as some of your wording was cliche. "A light smirk reveals itself on my once expresionless face," You're trying too hard make  us see yourself instead of the scenery. "Crisp autumn smells of pumpkin and spice fill my nostrils," I want more imagery of what you're smelling or touching. You take away a great scene by pointing back to yourself and what you're doing. What music are you listening to? What kind of birds are you listening ti? Where's the forest line? Something simple, cause I'd like to be there. Plus your title is a cliche. I can look in a literature book and find the title "Autumn". It's unorigional.




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