Behind This Mask

August 7, 2012
You have so many faces.
They all go at so many different paces.

Your eyes hidden,
Forbidden to reveal.
All I can see now is a shy,
Shivering person.
Deep down your beautiful,
A whole new person who is drowning in this big ocean,
But fighting for life and all of its faces,
Catch up.
You need to set the paces.
Keep track of all the faces.
So I can explore all these new places.

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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

Nguyenkhanhtran said...
Aug. 18, 2012 at 6:46 pm
reading some of your writings, you write in a way meant to communicate directly- a different direction from my own- which is to reflect and talk at once, but the latter indirectly. I see a stranger speaking loudly at me, that's your position, right? Beside that, This poem, although short, I can feel your plea to someone- the victim of the phantom's mask. On a note, it might have been even better if you had included the victim's part as well. Your part is clear as water, yet to speak ... (more »)
realbeautifulheart said...
Aug. 15, 2012 at 3:43 pm
First of all, I just want to say, great topic choice. I could tell that you were writing with emotion, with experience, not just making something up. I love the imagery you provide by using those awesome adjectives and metaphors. I second Mashley310 as far as technicalities go, but, in the first paragraph, you also said, "The all go at so many different places." which I did not fully understand. Perhaps you meant "to"? Anyways, great job... (more »)
Mashley310 said...
Aug. 11, 2012 at 2:16 pm
Good job! You chose an interesting, relatable topic and treated it well! XD I love the way you linked the beginning to the end, and your word choice was phenomenal. Make sure you proof-read though, you used "your" when you should have used "you're" once (line 10).  Also, this is more of a personal preference, but be careful with your punctuation. If you have a period, make sure the lines before it make a complete sentence. And I wouldn't have used commas at the e... (more »)
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