If Only

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I love you
She writes
I love you too
He replies
The words cut me
I thought I was over him
My stomach hurts

I want to take away the pain
But I told him I wouldn't cut anymore

This shouldn't hurt me
I knew he was with her
I wished him well
But inside my heart cracked
Threatening
To shatter

I miss him
Wish I could see him again
Be with him everyday
But he didn't love me then
And never will

One tear silently escapes my eye
I wipe it away quickly
And tell myself to stop
Reacting in such a childish way

Jealousy rips through my body
Why can it never be me
That he says I love you to??

I can't bring myself to be angry
At him
I care for him too much to do that

I need to figure out how to control
These insane feelings
Of longing
And attachment

I finally face it
He's gone





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