June 24, 2012
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If I were to die tomorrow,
from any type of tragedy,
I would not cry.
From a dagger thrown through my heart,
an arrow through my soul.
From a devil sent to take me down,
my deeds come to surface in another world.
From cancer of the throat,
too many bad words unspoken.
From bulimia gone too far,
by the train reck of promises.
From too many decisions and suicide.
I shouldn't cry for the lost life.
I couldn't bear to save my mind.
I wouldn't try to preserve any purity.
Because if death were inevitable,
could the means be pleasant anyway?
So if I died tomorrow,
I would not cry.
Because somebody to love you
is the best sort of demise,
and to be honored with a lover,
I would not mind my life's compromise.

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This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

Rolledthestone This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 24, 2013 at 9:10 am
Me too, sry, I haven't been on in forever. Loved the last line too. Not sure if you meant to say "mine" when you said "I couldnt bear to save my mind" Probably would make more sense. Anywho, the flow was okay but it was a bit choppy. Maybe try to do a pattern of syllables. Loved the theme again.
OldYoungOne said...
Mar. 11, 2013 at 2:59 pm
I like how you address the image of death. It isn't over dramatic like many dress it to be. I enjoyed the last line "I would not mind my life's compromise."
SteelersJdog said...
Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:44 am
I think this might be your best poem. It really strikes the emotions of readers which is always a big plus. The structure could be a bit better, I always think that people under use and over look the effectiveness of white space and punctuation, but deep down, this poem hits home. It's a really striking piece that leaves a stinging question in the minds of readers. I love how you are able to do that. I also like how you took a deep subject such as death and were able to equate it to numerous... (more »)
EyeWrite2See said...
Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:11 am
boooooom! That is how the poem came out. Boom! Like a bomb, like the bomb! I love it, no I really really love it. Keep up the honest work :)
AgentOrange789 said...
Jul. 26, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Hey. Sorry about the lateness of my reply, I've been so busy lately and I completely forgot that I had posted a "feedback for feedback."

This poem itself is awesome- I really like the style of poetry where it's not always straightforward, and you kind of have to use your own imagination. Very well done!

Apollo77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 14, 2012 at 2:19 pm
thanks! and no problem, I have a couple of feedback promises from about two months ago I'm still putting off...opps...:)
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