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Letter to a Friend

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I didn’t tell you
And I didn’t think you knew
Or anyone else, for that matter
But you did
Or maybe it was an accident
It was probably an accident
That’s what you said, anyway
And it had to have been because
I didn’t tell you
About the unbearable lightness
Or anyone else, for that matter

You could have just asked me
I suppose
But you did say that it was an accident
And that it was on your mind for other reasons
Someone else was living my own mistakes perhaps
Actually, I’m pretty sure I know who that someone was
So maybe you were pretty sure about me, too
And everybody else, for that matter

Those words were hurtful
You know
Even though they were the absolute truth
I mean they stung like hydrogen peroxide on an open wound
Because that’s what they were
They only helped the healing process
The sting was only momentary
Because shortly afterwards we became best friends
And everything else, for that matter.

I loved your smile
I love your smile
And the way you laugh
Too loudly and everyone turns around
And the teacher stares, too
But when they weren’t staring we passed countless notes
As in exactly eighty-two pages of a composition notebook
I haven’t thrown it away
But I want to
But I can’t
Or anything else, for that matter



If I were an actress I wouldn’t have to worry
About what might have happened on Halloween Five years ago
Instead I might be able to help others
Instead of hiding
I’m sick of hiding, I want to be brave
I can’t believe it’s been five years
Or any years, for that matter.

But it has been five years
And for the better I believe
And I have appreciated every moment
I’m less of an actress now
Than I was then, though I spend more time onstage
Of course, you massacred my performance
But I needed it
And I needed you
So thank you for that
And everything else, for that matter

Maybe I’ll take a Crisco can
Wherever I’m going
And maybe I’ll catch some sunshine in it
It worked once before
But I’m thinking now maybe I’m strong enough to make my own sunshine
To share with you
And everyone else, for that matter

Any load I have to bear will not be as heavy as the lightest one I bore before
And I wish that you shall bear none
And as I go East and you West
I promise I will send as much sunshine as I can
By snail mail
Unless that’s too slow.

Mostly thank you. And even if I didn’t tell you
I’m pretty sure you’d know
And I hope everyone else does, for that matter.
This wasn’t an accident
It had to have been fate
Or that’s what I say, anyway
And it had to have been because
I did tell you
About the unbearable lightness
And I love you.





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