You know that image that women have as they grow up? They all have to be petite and pretty. Girlie and smile a lot. Cute and small.
But what if we're not that at all?
It's an image that we've portrayed, but we're all afraid to break out. What if we all make mistakes but we don't want you to know that we don't care if you found that out, ..we're human just like you.
Slowly, throughout the years, we'll break away from this image. But right now? Right here.. I'm not the me that you think I am. I think too much and my words come out disorganized and ugly. It's not attractive to be a female that really doesn't care too much about the men she's with. She's unworldly. She has no emotion for them. She sees them as just another phase she's going through. Just some fun for the moment.
Will this change? Will I trust you enough to tell you this? Ever? Who knows. Not I.
God knows who I am. I know who I am. But I pretend as if I care. As if I want all of you to think highly of me. Why? So, you don't get completely disappointed if and when you find out, I'm truly dead inside and the one that created this death can't put the light back in me. Only the Creator of the Universe can and yet, I'm still scared to fully give myself over to Him.
In learning throughout the years that this is what needs to be done in order for the life of me to come back and the people around me to have any meaning anymore, I know that I have to be willing to give this life to the One that gave His life for me.