I still cry myself to sleep because I gave away the only thing I was supposed to keep. I lay in my bed humming our song and telling myself life does go on. My heart is in constant pain, because I know love will never feel the same. When I see you it feels like my heart stops. It stops aching, it stops seeping blood, and starts to beat, like I'm still here, like I'm still alive. Seeing you lets me know I will survive. Feeling you near me gives me a reason to breath, gives me a reason to grieve. Grieving seem like it's my only salvation. Someone save me, I need resuscitation. I need an escape from this emotional humiliation. The trauma is slowly sending my heart into shock. Someone make these agonizing pains stop. My heart pounds slower and slower in my ears. I can hear it's final beat, and with my last breaths of air I whisper "Without you my heart will never beat, without you close to me my shattered heart will cease. I cannot live without you there, without you here next to me."
May 18, 2012