the Quantum confessions

May 10, 2012
By Amber Johnson BRONZE, Elkhorn, Nebraska
Amber Johnson BRONZE, Elkhorn, Nebraska
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

What am I these days, an open book?
I must be
Everyone knows my motive
Before I fathom, my widely known aim is set in ink

Can you wait a second?
Let me explain myself
Or at least give me the benefit of your doubt
I think I am able to think and imagine enough
Use my own brain to riddle out the angles and implications formed in this cranium

I could let you presume you know everything I’m about to say
Or I could just say it
What else to do on a Thursday night in May
Besides pour out my soul to utter strangers on the internet
Explain my love; what it is and why it’s real

You don’t seem to get my point
I am done with people trying to presume they know my intent
I know my intent
I write words that mean something to me
Words that may mean something entirely different to you

I don’t govern your deliberation
These opinions we so hastily rule in
Are not meant to clash
Nor are their quickly bred estimations
Otherwise I would think this friendship sadly unstable

But I feel the utmost need to make this clear to you
I. am. not. in. love. with. you.
I love you
That is an entirely different and often misconstrued notion
That these are the same

When one is in love, one does silly, foolish things
In the hopes that somehow their odd behavior will attract
When one loves, one does even sillier, more foolish things
Because they know that no matter how weird they are, you still find them attractive

For me, that is where we began
Since the start
You and I hit it off
In a never ending run of mutual interest, shared laughter, & knowledge
A 2.0 brotherhood came
Out of a virtual parallel, the world was brought face to face with a set of loony self-dependant fools

I’m not quite done with you
I doubt I ever will be
But that does not mean that I am interested in losing your friendship
For the sake of a faulty, foolhardy supposition of my ‘being in love’

You make my head’s insides break out in a toothy beam
My heart burst from laughing
My entire being smirk until it hurts
But you’re there when I need a steady hand
Or words exchanged
I can’t help but love you

You cause me to think like I never have before
I throw myself at research
Opposed to keeping to my usual philosophic take on things
You have ironically forced me to rely on the worldwide web
In order to formulate a knowledgeable, if not logical response to your clever quip

All subjects under the sun supply our conversations
Politics, morals, theories, jokes, books, films, science, friendship, family, adulthood, opinions, sarcasm;
Nothing escapes it
And that’s what I cherish

I value an individual that carries himself in all situations at the level of his standards
I appreciate the person that takes it to be his responsibility to care for and advance his world with every exploit
I revere a boy whose one goal in life is to disclose to each his understanding of love and to allow it to become widely manifest
I reserve this kind of love for him
And I always will

The author's comments:
This is the beginning to a set of writings of mine that I am interested in committing to paper. It is what I believe to be a perfect assessment of my feelings on love. Love should never be limited to one definition but at this moment in time, I am finding this to be the best way I can explain it to myself and to you, the reader.

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